Holding a narcissist accountable for their actions, setting boundaries, or providing constructive criticism all cause what’s known as a “narcissistic injury.” These actions pop the fantasy bubble they live in—a fake version of reality where they are perfect.
Even professional, well-meaning criticism forces them to momentarily confront their self-loathing. This makes it less likely for them to attempt hoovering in the future, as they’d rather avoid repeating the ego bruising.
3. Being Discarded
When you are the one to end the relationship, you hold tremendous power. Narcissists prefer to end things on their terms, ensuring they have new supply lined up and can portray themselves as the victim.
By discarding them first, you disrupt their plans and strip them of control. This undermines their ability to garner sympathy or run successful smear campaigns, leaving them feeling blindsided and powerless.
4. You Move On
Moving on—whether romantically or simply by focusing on yourself—is deeply upsetting for a narcissist. They often hoover when they sense you are healing or starting to feel better. It’s as if they can “smell” your recovery and attempt to disrupt your progress.
Moving forward with healthy coping mechanisms, therapy, or support groups signals to them that their control over you is fading, which they find intolerable.
5. Fear of Being Forgotten
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