After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you might begin using cryptic messaging—speaking in riddles or being vague—to avoid confrontation. Having learned that direct communication can provoke drama or conflict, you may wrap your thoughts in a veil of mystery.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that narcissistic relationships often teach you to be guarded, leading to communication styles that prioritize self-protection. While this approach may feel safer, it can also hinder others from understanding you. Clear communication is essential for building healthier relationships, and being straightforward can help you reclaim your voice.
3. Overexplaining
You might catch yourself overexplaining your actions, feeling the need to justify every choice to avoid criticism. This reflex stems from a fear of judgment, ingrained through past experiences of dealing with narcissistic personalities.
Therapist Dr. Jennifer Sweeton explains that excessive justification often results from seeking validation in the face of constant criticism. While clear communication is important, remember that you don’t owe anyone a lengthy explanation. Trust your instincts and know that simply stating your decision is enough.
4. Self-Deprecating Humor
Using self-deprecating humor—making jokes at your own expense—might become a habit to preempt criticism from others. While humor can be a great coping mechanism, constantly putting yourself down can damage your self-esteem.
Psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff emphasizes that self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, not harshness. Laughing at yourself occasionally is fine, but balance it by showing yourself the love and respect you deserve.
5. Repetitive Mantras
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