Think of the Greek myth of Narcissus, who was so enamored by his reflection in a pool of water that he couldn’t look away. This is the essence of narcissism: an obsession with self, idealized notions, and a constant need for admiration. Narcissists might say things like:
- “I’m a big deal.”
- Your response: “Whatever.”
- “You need to prioritize what I want.”
- Your response: “Whatever.”
- “No one understands life like I do.”
- Your response: “Whatever.”
- “Your feelings and ideas don’t matter to me.”
- Your response: “Whatever.”
The power of “whatever” lies in its simplicity. It signals that you are no longer playing their game. Narcissists feed off emotional reactions—whether anger, sadness, or pleading—because these reactions provide them with the validation and control they seek. By disengaging and giving them the “grey rock” treatment (being as uninteresting as a grey rock), you deprive them of the attention they crave.
Narcissists are like actors on a stage, thriving on the audience’s engagement. By refusing to play your part in their performance, you take the wind out of their sails. When you disengage, you send a clear message: I won’t hand over my stability to someone unstable.
continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
