Sharing sensitive experiences can feel overwhelming. Narcissistic abuse survivors may stutter when recounting their stories. Their minds get stuck even when they know what they want to say. Trauma expert Dr. Judith Herman explains that survivors often have a disrupted sense of self because they’ve been silenced or criticized so much that they second-guess every detail of their story.
This self-doubt, instilled by the abuse, keeps your brain on guard, expecting backlash. To overcome this, try speaking slowly, grounding yourself in the present, and reminding yourself that your story is valid and doesn’t need to be perfect.
4. Tone Checking
Do you know someone who frequently asks if you’re upset? Narcissistic abuse survivors might constantly tone-check because they’ve learned to be hyper-aware of even the slightest mood shifts, fearing they could signal an incoming storm. This sensitivity is a result of walking on eggshells around a narcissist.
To heal, remind yourself that other people’s moods are not your responsibility. Focus on the overall conversation rather than searching for subtle shifts in tone.
5. Keeping a Neutral Facial Expression at Social Gatherings
Survivors of narcissistic abuse often learn to keep a “poker face” in social settings to avoid judgment or manipulation. Years of hiding their emotions taught them that showing vulnerability could be used against them.
To heal, practice expressing your emotions in safe spaces. Remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable, and genuine connections come from sharing your true feelings.
6. Laughing When Nervous
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