Initially, the narcissist may react with confusion. They struggle to understand why you left, as they live in a constructed reality filled with a false narrative about themselves and their importance. Even if they’ve abused, cheated, or neglected you for years, they view such behavior as their entitlement. This delusional thinking often leads them to believe they have done nothing wrong.
If you don’t return quickly, their confusion may turn into anger and even rage. Narcissists often perceive themselves as the hero, martyr, or victim of every story—they never see themselves as the villain. If you try to hold them accountable, they may become highly offended and begin gaslighting you and others to protect their narrative.
It’s common for them to list all the supposed sacrifices they’ve made for you and accuse you of being ungrateful. In their mind, you are beneath them, and leaving them is seen as an act of betrayal.
Manipulation Tactics
When guilt-tripping and gaslighting fail, narcissists may resort to pity tactics. They might recount traumatic events from their own lives to elicit your empathy. Remember: many people experience trauma without becoming abusive. Abusive behavior is always a choice. Narcissists often exploit their victim’s compassion, knowing that empathetic individuals are likely to feel sorry for them.
Escalation and Retaliation
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