A covert narcissist helps to control, while a true empath helps to heal.
For example, a covert narcissist may support you during tough times—like a divorce or loss—only to hold it over your head later. They might say, “Don’t forget when I was there for you. Now you owe me.” Their help always comes with strings attached.
Empaths, on the other hand, help selflessly. They offer support to create balance in your life without expecting anything in return. Their help is genuine and rooted in compassion.
Difference #3: Performative Listening vs. Heartfelt Listening
Covert narcissists listen to perform, while empaths listen to connect.
A covert narcissist listens just enough to redirect the conversation back to themselves. For example, if you share your pain, they might respond, “Oh, that’s tough, but let me tell you about my struggles.” They seek to be the center of attention, even in moments of your vulnerability.
True empaths, however, listen with their hearts. They don’t interrupt or make it about themselves. Their presence alone can provide healing, creating a safe and supportive environment.
Difference #4: Self-Centered Overwhelm vs. Genuine Concern
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