Today, I’ll be talking about what your decision to go No Contact tells the narcissist. This also includes what ignoring them communicates. Ignoring the narcissist and going No Contact are proven ways to free yourself from their manipulations.
Although both methods are very effective, the response from the narcissist can be similar. However, ignoring the narcissist is not the same as going No Contact.
No Contact means exactly what it says—you have no interactions whatsoever with the narcissist. You don’t hear from them, you don’t see them, and there is no way for them to approach or contact you. On the other hand, ignoring the narcissist means they are still around, but you make a conscious effort to avoid them as much as possible. You might have to see or work with them, but you do not act as a source of narcissistic supply. You don’t feed their need for attention or validation. All interactions are minimal, straightforward, and to the point.
Whether you are ignoring the narcissist or have gone fully No Contact, you are communicating some very important messages—messages they do not like but which are incredibly powerful. The longer you maintain your distance, the clearer these messages become. It doesn’t matter who the narcissist is—a family member, friend, partner, or work colleague—the messages will be the same. The best part is that all you need to do is ignore them or go No Contact, making it a win-win situation for you.
While the narcissist may try to come up with their own explanations for why you’ve chosen to distance yourself, the longer you remain absent, the harder it becomes for them to deny the reality of the situation and the true meaning of your absence.
Key Messages You Send the Narcissist
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1. I Can Live Without You
By going No Contact or ignoring the narcissist, you show them that you don’t need them in your life. You don’t need to talk to them, spend time with them, or rely on their help or advice. Your life can run smoothly, if not better, without their presence or influence.
2. You Don’t Control Me
Narcissists often want to control relationships, deciding who stays and who goes. By choosing No Contact or ignoring them, you’re showing them that you make the decisions in your life—not them. You are taking back control and proving you’re not waiting around for their approval.
3. You Don’t Matter to Me
Narcissists thrive on feeling important. Ignoring them or going No Contact communicates that their behavior is unacceptable and that they are not as relevant or important as they thought. You are demonstrating that you do not care about their manipulations or drama.
4. You’ve Lost Me
Finally, the most powerful message: they’ve lost you. You’ve broken free from their lies, manipulations, and abuse. You saw through their facade and refused to tolerate their toxicity. While they may try to paint you as unstable or strange to others, deep down, they know exactly why you’ve distanced yourself. This realization will bother them, especially as time goes on.
Consistency Is Key
It’s important to remain consistent. Whether you’ve chosen to go fully No Contact or are actively ignoring the narcissist, consistency ensures your message hits home. Don’t give in to their hoovering attempts or manipulative tricks to pull you back in.
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