The narcissist’s desire for argument is frustrating. They will debate about anything. The truth can be staring them in the face, and they will still argue and stick to their conviction that you are wrong and they are right. You instinctively defend yourself when the narcissist sets out a conflict with you. You’re trying to explain how that isn’t what you meant, that you didn’t mean it poorly, or any other statement in an attempt to alleviate the tension and move away from the narcissist’s persistent attack on you.
Why does the narcissist dispute everything, and what is their aim in doing so? The narcissist inhabits a realm of anarchy, striving to govern as much as they can around them. They meticulously shape their reality. Still, the narcissist enjoys anarchy, even if they seem to be trying to reduce the uncertainty. The narcissist lives in a continual state of illusion and tension; they are never content and calm. For them, this is a known sensation where they feel most at ease because of its familiarity. Should things go perfectly and without problems, the narcissist will launch a conflict. They can then increase their narcissistic supply with this reasoning, which they will project throughout their discussions.
The narcissist’s projection is the process by which they project their own negative thoughts and emotions onto another person. Although the narcissist feels and thinks negatively, this is difficult for them to accept. Apart from nobody wishing to have negative ideas about oneself, this is especially challenging for the narcissist because of their unstable sense of self and fragile ego. They have to constantly feel that they are better in order to protect their fragile ego and ward against narcissistic damage. Should the narcissist start to have negative thoughts or feelings, they will project them onto someone else and center the other person above themselves. This usually results in conflicts, as the narcissist accuses the other person of something untrue.
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