The narcissist will argue non-stop to make sure the other person feels it’s about them, as they cannot see their words as untrue. All of this is meant to help them control the circumstances. The narcissist argues with deliberate intent. Often, they schedule their arguments to gain the biggest advantage. They may pick on you and point out how you’re making little mistakes. This nitpicking is done in readiness for a more intense dispute, timed perfectly for the narcissist. For instance, you may be at a family function later tonight with the narcissist. The narcissist makes things as uncomfortable for you as possible because they want to keep you from leaving. They pick at you all day, and then you snap at them during the event that evening. You rightly snap at them, as their immature and violent behavior has reached your limit. However, this happens in front of your family, who lack the background knowledge of what happened during the day. You then seem like the problem, just as the narcissist intended. You made them attend the event, so they started a fight with you to help control the story in their favor.
The narcissist is insecure and low on supply, so they initiate arguments with you. The disagreement becomes a means of increasing their narcissistic supply and helping them feel more in control. One type of baiting is picking arguments with you. Start noticing the little things the narcissist does as a premonition for a later conflict, and back off without taking the bait. The narcissist launches the conflict to increase their supply and find an alternative path to feel better about themselves, excluding you.
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