When you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, emotional burnout can affect almost every aspect of your life, including something as simple as cleaning your space. The constant stress of walking on eggshells, dealing with manipulation, and trying to protect yourself emotionally drains your energy and motivation.
Trauma expert Dr. Judith Herman explains in her book Trauma and Recovery that prolonged stress can lead to exhaustion, emotional numbness, and apathy. It makes even tiny tasks feel insurmountable. When you find yourself avoiding chores or feeling like it’s too much to handle, it’s not about laziness. It’s your mind and body’s way of reacting to emotional overload.
The physical mess around you often reflects the emotional mess inside. Your inability to clean is a sign that your body is trying to recover from constant stress.
3. Loss of Boundaries
After narcissistic abuse, maintaining boundaries can feel impossible because the abuser likely ignored or trampled over them. In his book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, Dr. Henry Cloud explains that boundaries create balance. However, abuse teaches you to doubt your needs, leaving your environment chaotic.
Without clear boundaries, clutter builds as a reflection of the internal confusion caused by manipulation and emotional stress. You might also hold on to things or habits to avoid conflict, as abuse conditions you to prioritize others over yourself. Survivors often lose their sense of control, leading to disorganization.
Reclaiming your space starts with small steps, like asking: “Does this belong here? Does it bring me peace?” By setting boundaries with your physical space, you can slowly rebuild emotional clarity and regain a sense of empowerment.
4. Emotional Numbness
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