So, you’ve decided to move on with your life—this is the best decision you could make. Taking the necessary steps forward is empowering, but don’t be surprised by how the narcissist reacts. Two major things may come your way. This information is essential to staying on track. In this video, I’ll explain exactly what to expect, so stick around if it resonates with you.
However, this individual will not let you go easily. Some of you might say, “But Anushka, they’ve already moved on and are with someone else.” That doesn’t matter. There are reasons why things unfold the way they do, and in this video, I’ll explain how they’re likely to behave, so you can fully understand the dynamics.
This isn’t a typical relationship where you say goodbye, and that’s the end. Narcissists thrive on control and attention, much like emotionally immature children. They don’t mourn the loss of a relationship like others might. Instead, they seek to create chaos in your life to keep you thinking about them.
You might be saying, “But they walked away from me; it’s over!” Even if it seems that way, their attempts to elicit a reaction—whether through being cruel, gossiping, or causing drama—are still about control. They aim to influence how you think, feel, and behave, which keeps you under their power.
When narcissists lose control, they perceive it as a personal attack. Even if they walked away, they may try to regain control by seeking your validation, attention, compassion, and affection. Your decision to move on means they’ve lost their influence, which they crave.
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Narcissists don’t truly know who they are, and they seek external validation to fill the emptiness within. When they no longer receive this from you, they’ll often resort to tactics like hoovering—trying to draw you back with promises of change or attempts to evoke nostalgia.
Consider this: Can someone genuinely change in a matter of weeks or months? True self-improvement takes years of dedicated effort and therapy, which many narcissists avoid because they don’t believe anything is wrong with them. Their promises of change are usually superficial attempts to regain control.
If hoovering doesn’t work, they may escalate to a smear campaign, spreading lies to damage your reputation and make themselves feel superior. This tactic is another form of control, designed to undermine your confidence and keep you engaged with their narrative.
Another common behavior is feigned indifference. They’ll act as if you never mattered and flaunt new relationships or achievements. However, this is also about validation—it’s not genuine happiness or growth.
Dealing with these behaviors is challenging, but the best approach is to focus on your own healing. Minimize contact, rely on your support system, and remind yourself why you chose to leave. People who truly care about you would never jeopardize your well-being or make you question your worth.
Remember, moving on is about reclaiming your life and happiness. Stay strong and focused on your journey forward.
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