It’s often said that narcissists are remarkably predictable. This predictability becomes particularly evident when they realize a relationship is truly over, that there’s no chance of reconciliation. In these instances, they often resort to three specific tactics, which we’ll explore today. So, what can you expect when a narcissist understands you’re never returning? Paradoxically, their desire for you is likely to intensify dramatically. Narcissists are driven by a forbidden fruit mentality; what’s unattainable becomes intensely desirable.
While this tendency exists to some degree in human nature, narcissists, due to their profound internal emptiness, take it to an extreme. They inhabit a world of fantasy, often bordering on delusion, especially concerning their own self-worth, talents, and abilities. This inflated self-perception manifests as a sense of superiority and entitlement. When confronted with the reality of your permanent absence, they are forced to confront the void you’ve left behind. This void is deeply unsettling, and they desperately yearn for what they’ve lost.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that narcissists rarely pursue those they deem “riffraff.” If a narcissist has invested significant time and energy in a relationship with you, it’s because you possess qualities they value; at the very least, you enhance their self-image in some way. This dynamic applies to all types of relationships, not just romantic ones. Consequently, when faced with the loss of someone who provided them with positive reflection, they invariably resort to hoovering tactics, attempting to draw you back into the cycle of abuse. This is almost guaranteed.
Advanced preparation is your greatest defense against future pain and trauma. There’s no expiration date on a narcissistic hoover. Instances of hoovering have been reported after decades of no contact. When this occurs, it’s essential not to mistake it for genuine affection or remorse; it has nothing to do with you as an individual and everything to do with their desperate need to fulfill their own selfish needs at your expense.
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