The moment you meet a narcissist, they begin siphoning your spiritual energy without you even realizing it. That is the scariest part. Their abuse does not only impact you on a physical and psychological level but also on an energetic level, which is what we will discuss today.
We’re going to talk about how a narcissist becomes an energetic parasite that feeds off your life force. This is why, when you leave them, you often feel like a shell of your former self.
Fixing Their Life: The Unseen Cost
Number One: They put you in a state of constantly fixing their life and the relationship. You know how you walk on eggshells because something always seems wrong. The sky is falling, everything is doom and gloom, alarms are constantly blaring, and you never get to rest.
They turn you into the parent they never had—the mother who keeps chasing the narcissistic man or the father who gives his daughter all the attention she craves. You fix their credit, get them a car, pay the mortgage, work, raise their children, and somehow keep everything together, preventing total collapse.
But at what cost? At the expense of your life energy.
The universe has a strange way of maintaining balance. If you are benefiting in one aspect of your life, an equal and opposite force must balance it out. In this case, you give away a piece of yourself every day to keep the relationship afloat. The most dangerous part is that they are never grateful for the role you play in their life. They never acknowledge the energy you pour into them; they only drain it.
That is why I say: never fix a broken narcissist’s life. They will resent you for helping them. Their delusional mind convinces them that you are independent and need no help, which leads them to take revenge on you for proving their dependency. It’s a sick mentality, but it’s true. Over time, fixing their life drains you to the point where even the simplest tasks in your own life feel exhausting.
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Emotional Rollercoaster: Constant Highs and Lows
Number Two: They keep you in a constant state of emotional reactivity. Emotions are energy. Your brain and body allocate resources to create sensations around feelings—happiness, sadness, anger, or joy.
If you experience emotions all the time, you will inevitably feel overwhelmed. You need rest. You need moments of calm where you aren’t experiencing a rush of emotions because your system wasn’t designed to endure that level of intensity 24/7.
But in a narcissistic relationship, you are in that emotional rush constantly. And why is that? Because the narcissist needs supply from you. You are the source that keeps their empty vessel filled. If you try to rest, step away, or disengage from their drama, they will push your buttons to provoke an emotional reaction.
You remember how exhausted you felt after reacting emotionally? That’s because every time you did, you were literally giving them your energy. You were running their generator, keeping their power on, while they never gave you time to recharge.
Broken Promises: Building and Destroying Hope
Number Three: They build you up only to tear you down. They make promises only to break them.
On an energetic level, a promise is an energetic bond. It’s a transfer of energy. If someone promises you a family or a better future, they tie you to a vision that requires your energy to sustain.
You know how narcissists future-fake. They promise the world: “I will be your dream partner,” “We will have the most amazing life together.” But instead of delivering dreams, they deliver nightmares.
Each broken promise drains your energy. It’s like building a castle in your mind, only for it to be burned down. The grief of losing something that was never real still takes a toll. You must process the disappointment, let go of anger, and mourn the loss of a dream that was never meant to be.
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Unreciprocated Love: The One-Sided Relationship
Number Four: The entire relationship revolves around unreciprocated love. It’s always one-sided.
You give, give, and give, while they take, take, and take. They don’t support you, they don’t show up emotionally, and they never take responsibility for their actions. You play the role of therapist, mediator, fixer—while they do nothing to nurture the relationship.
Unreciprocated love is one of the biggest emotional drains. You suppress your needs, filter your words, and act in ways to keep them from getting upset. You swallow your emotions to coexist with someone who only accepts you if you play the role they assigned to you.
How unnatural is that?
Forced to Wear a Mask: Losing Your True Self
Number Five: They force you to become someone you are not.
In a narcissistic relationship, you wear a mask—but not like the narcissist, who wears one to deceive others. You wear one to survive.
You must hide your emotions, pretend to be happy, and act strong. You must suppress your true self to fit into the mold they created for you. This is self-betrayal, albeit an unintentional one.
Spiritually, when you live inauthentically, you expend immense energy keeping up the facade. And as I mentioned earlier, the universe always balances things out. If you sacrifice your authenticity, something else must be compensated. In this case, it’s your truthfulness.
The further you stray from yourself, the more resentment you harbor, and the more drained you become.
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Conclusion
That is why reclaiming your true self is the most important step in healing after narcissistic abuse.
I discuss this in detail in my newly launched program, Overcoming Betrayal Trauma in 5 Practical Steps. If you want instant access, click the “i” button above or check the link in the description to get in at the early bird price.
Which of these aspects do you feel has drained you the most on a spiritual level? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
With that, let’s bring this one to an end. I will see you in the next one. Until then, as always—stay strong and take care.
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