We all know those people who seem to get angry at the drop of a hat, especially narcissists. But did you know there are certain things you can say that almost guarantee to set them off? If you’re curious about what those are, stick around. In this video, we’re breaking down the top five comments that can trigger a narcissist and why these comments make them so mad.
Number 1: “It’s like I have to walk on eggshells around you.”
This is exactly what they want to hear because it boosts their ego and makes them feel like they’re in complete control—even over your emotions. However, they won’t show their giddiness about it outright. Instead, they’ll deflect and make it seem like the problem is you. They might say something like, “Stop projecting your issues onto me. I didn’t make you act like that. Look at me; I’m calm and rational. You’re the one freaking out. That’s why I call you anxious. It’s your anxiety that makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me.” Or maybe they’ll try to justify it by saying, “Well, there’s been a lot going on, and we both know who’s been acting irrationally lately. You’ve been doing a lot, so maybe walking on eggshells isn’t such a bad thing. It might help you avoid mistakes.” Either way, they’re shifting all the blame onto you. It’s just another way to dismiss your feelings while tightening their grip on control.
See how being with a narcissist can really take a toll on you? Their delusional thinking doesn’t just affect them; it affects you too. They’ll manipulate you into thinking you’re the problem, that your feelings don’t make sense, and that everything is somehow your fault. Over time, you start getting pulled into their warped reality, where they never take responsibility for how their actions impact you. In their version of the story, your anxiety or sensitivity toward them is all on you. They’ll insist it has nothing to do with their behavior or the toxic environment they’ve created. It’s a vicious cycle of blame and emotional manipulation, leaving you stuck in a relationship filled with chaos and self-doubt.
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Number 2: “Do you really believe I’m that stupid?”
Did you know that when you say something like this to a narcissist, they hear it as you calling them stupid? To them, your true message is embedded in what you’re saying. With this comment, it’s like you’re telling them, “Do you really think I’m that dumb to believe what you’re telling me? Do you actually think I’m going to buy into that crazy, delusional idea of yours? Do you think I’ll just take what you say at face value when it’s obvious you don’t have the self-awareness to give anyone meaningful feedback? Your thinking is so black-and-white, so rigid, but honestly, it’s not smart, and it doesn’t make sense. You’re acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum, a three-year-old stuck in an adult’s body. How can you not see what you’re doing to me? How can you even think you know me when you don’t even know yourself?”
Let’s say they find someone new to victimize. When you make this comment to them, they’ll interpret it as, “Do you think I’m so gullible that I’ll fall for your games? That I’ll buy into this comparison you’re trying to make between me and your new thing? Please. I know what’s going on. You’re just using this other person as another trophy, another source of attention to feed your ego. Do you really think I’m going to be jealous just because someone new is in the picture? Absolutely not. And do you honestly believe I’ll just go along with it being your way just because you say so? No, thanks. You might be that delusional or stupid, but I’m not.” So, it enrages them.
Number 3: “I know many normal people who don’t act that way.”
If you compare a narcissist to an average person, prepare for trouble. They might cut you off completely or come after you. In their minds, that kind of comparison is the ultimate insult. To a narcissist, “normal people” are beneath them because those people are insignificant, unworthy, and nothing more than obstacles to step over. By suggesting they’re on the same level as anyone else, you’re basically tearing down the image of superiority they’ve built for themselves. And trust me, they won’t stand for it.
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In their eyes, they’re flawless—perfect, even. They don’t see themselves as having any weaknesses or faults. If something goes wrong, it’s never their fault. It’s always someone else’s problem, due to the environment or bad luck. They just can’t accept responsibility because, to them, they don’t make mistakes. So, when you compare them to someone they look down on, it feels like a direct attack on their carefully crafted self-image.
On top of that, narcissists always believe they’re right. They expect everyone to accept their behavior without question. Their words are the absolute truth, and their actions are always justified. So, if you dare to challenge them or question their choices, they see it as a personal attack and not a difference of opinion. For them, it’s completely intolerable. This is how the narcissistic psyche processes and assimilates comparisons. When they feel compared to someone else, it manifests as intense rage or a negative reaction. That’s why they lash out, saying things like, “Why don’t you just leave me and go live with those ‘normal’ people?” Their response is designed to devalue and dismiss your attempt to relate or compare. Then, they will criticize you for it, turn the tables, and shift all blame for the relationship’s problems onto you. For instance, they’ll say the relationship is suffering because you’re always comparing them to others. The comparison becomes their scapegoat for every issue, even if it’s totally unrelated.
Number 4: “No.”
Yep, you heard that right. Saying “no” to a narcissist can send them into a full-blown rage. For them, rejection isn’t just a simple “no”; it makes them feel like their world is ending. Hearing the word “no” is a huge hit to their sense of self because, in their mind, being rejected means they don’t matter. This comment also takes away the control they’re desperate to have—control over the situation, over other people, and over you.
To a narcissist, hearing “no” feels like a personal attack on their strength and worth. It’s humiliating for them, which is why their narcissistic rage kicks in. In their eyes, your refusal isn’t just a boundary; it’s a challenge to their superiority. So, their reaction is usually something along the lines of, “How dare you say no to me? Don’t you know who I am?” A narcissist revolves around the illusion of perfection and absolute control. They believe they know everything and can manipulate anyone. This false self fuels their sense of entitlement, which is an illusion they’ve created to sustain their identity. When you say “no,” you shatter that illusion. To them, it’s not just a refusal but a direct attack on the fantasy they are desperate to maintain. By challenging this carefully constructed façade, you’re questioning their very identity. This is why they respond so aggressively.
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