In their eyes, they’re flawless—perfect, even. They don’t see themselves as having any weaknesses or faults. If something goes wrong, it’s never their fault. It’s always someone else’s problem, due to the environment or bad luck. They just can’t accept responsibility because, to them, they don’t make mistakes. So, when you compare them to someone they look down on, it feels like a direct attack on their carefully crafted self-image.
On top of that, narcissists always believe they’re right. They expect everyone to accept their behavior without question. Their words are the absolute truth, and their actions are always justified. So, if you dare to challenge them or question their choices, they see it as a personal attack and not a difference of opinion. For them, it’s completely intolerable. This is how the narcissistic psyche processes and assimilates comparisons. When they feel compared to someone else, it manifests as intense rage or a negative reaction. That’s why they lash out, saying things like, “Why don’t you just leave me and go live with those ‘normal’ people?” Their response is designed to devalue and dismiss your attempt to relate or compare. Then, they will criticize you for it, turn the tables, and shift all blame for the relationship’s problems onto you. For instance, they’ll say the relationship is suffering because you’re always comparing them to others. The comparison becomes their scapegoat for every issue, even if it’s totally unrelated.
Number 4: “No.”
Yep, you heard that right. Saying “no” to a narcissist can send them into a full-blown rage. For them, rejection isn’t just a simple “no”; it makes them feel like their world is ending. Hearing the word “no” is a huge hit to their sense of self because, in their mind, being rejected means they don’t matter. This comment also takes away the control they’re desperate to have—control over the situation, over other people, and over you.
To a narcissist, hearing “no” feels like a personal attack on their strength and worth. It’s humiliating for them, which is why their narcissistic rage kicks in. In their eyes, your refusal isn’t just a boundary; it’s a challenge to their superiority. So, their reaction is usually something along the lines of, “How dare you say no to me? Don’t you know who I am?” A narcissist revolves around the illusion of perfection and absolute control. They believe they know everything and can manipulate anyone. This false self fuels their sense of entitlement, which is an illusion they’ve created to sustain their identity. When you say “no,” you shatter that illusion. To them, it’s not just a refusal but a direct attack on the fantasy they are desperate to maintain. By challenging this carefully constructed façade, you’re questioning their very identity. This is why they respond so aggressively.
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