If you try to outsmart a narcissist from a place of logic or ego, you are engaging in a battle where only the biggest ego wins. Unless your ego has completely overshadowed your true self, the narcissist will ultimately come out on top, leaving you emotionally shattered. They are experts at identifying your deepest wounds and exploiting them.
The key to truly defeating a narcissist is not through outsmarting them, but through healing yourself. Narcissists serve as catalysts, exposing our unconscious wounds. Rather than seeking to beat them at their own game, we need to recognize the deeper lesson they bring: an opportunity to heal our past traumas, childhood wounds, and limiting beliefs.
When we stop holding the narcissist responsible for our pain and start focusing on our own healing, we cut off the supply they thrive on. At first, this is difficult, as our deepest wounds are activated. But when we commit to self-partnering—meaning we take full responsibility for our own healing—we remove ourselves from the narcissist’s control.
The irony is that once we shift our focus inward and heal, we naturally “outsmart” the narcissist—not through manipulation, but by stepping into a higher level of awareness where their tactics no longer work on us.
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