- Overstocking Household Items Some people only overstock household items like canned goods or toilet paper in preparation for an upcoming storm. However, for narcissistic abuse victims, this behavior is often tied to a deep need for security and control.
Overstocking can also stem from the scarcity mindset that abuse often creates. Perhaps you were guilt-tripped about spending money or made to feel bad for having needs. Having an abundance of supplies becomes a way to push back against those old fears.
In The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, therapist Beverly Engel explains that when you’ve been deprived emotionally or physically, you learn to prepare for the worst. It’s not just about the stuff—it’s about reclaiming your right to meet your needs without shame. So, while others might see it as excessive, you know it’s your way of saying, “I’ve got my back now.”
- Saving Old IDs and Expired Driver’s Licenses Since narcissistic abuse can make you lose your sense of self, you may forget who you were before. Holding on to old IDs and expired driver’s licenses might be a way for you to remember your past self before the abuse took over your life.
When you’ve been made to question your identity, having something tangible that proves your existence, independence, and personal history can feel grounding. Survivors often cling to items that help them reconnect with their authentic selves, especially when their sense of self has been distorted by years of manipulation.
So, it’s not just simple hoarding—it’s an act of self-preservation and a quiet rebellion against the parts of life that tried to erase you. That little stack of expired IDs proves that you’re still standing.
Hoarding behaviors in narcissistic abuse victims may seem odd, but they’re deeply tied to survival and a need for control after enduring chaos. Each item often represents comfort, safety, or a memory they’re afraid to lose. If you see these habits in yourself or someone else, it’s important to approach them with understanding, not judgment.
Healing takes time, and letting go of things often starts with releasing the pain attached to them. With patience, it’s possible to create a safe, freeing space and move toward a life of peace and clarity.
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