Hair pulling, known as trichotillomania, is a behavior often seen in people who have endured trauma, including narcissistic abuse. When stress and anxiety become overwhelming, the body can find unusual ways to cope, and pulling hair can become an outlet for releasing built-up tension. It’s an unconscious response to emotional pain that offers a brief sense of relief, even if the reason behind it is unclear. Many don’t even realize they’re doing it until they notice thinning patches or feel soreness on their scalp. Psychologist Dr. Marsha Slatkin explains that hair pulling is deeply connected to emotional distress; it serves as a way for the mind to process pain, even if it ultimately creates more challenges in the long run.
8. Comparison Tactics
Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling inadequate, especially when the abuser uses constant comparisons to undermine your self-esteem. Narcissists often diminish you by pointing out how others are supposedly better. They chip away at your confidence little by little. Over time, hearing that you’re not good enough makes even basic acts of self-care, like brushing your hair, feel pointless. Why bother when you’ve been made to feel like you’ll never measure up? Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that narcissists intentionally use comparison as a weapon to keep you feeling small and inferior. This relentless emotional wear and tear drains your energy and motivation, making tasks like grooming feel insignificant. Your hair might reflect the inner exhaustion you carry.
9. Sabotage
Narcissists often sabotage your self-care by making you feel guilty or ashamed for doing something positive for yourself. They might criticize you for trying to look good or accuse you of being selfish for focusing on your own needs. Over time, these negative messages take root, and you begin to internalize the idea that self-care is unnecessary or even wrong. Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone explains that emotional abuse can distort your mindset, making you feel undeserving of basic acts of self-nurturing. This psychological manipulation often leads to neglecting even simple tasks like brushing or washing your hair. It’s not because you’re lazy, but because the emotional attacks make self-care feel pointless. The abuser’s influence undermines your ability to see your worth, leaving your appearance as another casualty of their control.
10. Breaking Free from Perfectionism
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