Unfortunately, what the target usually doesn’t understand at this point is that this is a strategic and planned event that the narcissist has been setting the stage for long before the target had any clue they were in this battle behind the scenes. The narcissist has been carefully planting seeds of doubt in the minds of friends, family, and co-workers, phrasing things as if they come from a place of deep concern. They might say things like, “You know, she’s been acting really unstable lately, and I’m very concerned,” or, “He’s not handling stress well; I’m really worried about him,” or, “I’ve always thought something is off about them, and whatever’s going on is getting worse.”
Then, when the victim inevitably reaches their breaking point, the narcissist simply steps back and lets the scene play out exactly as they designed it. The emotional outburst serves as confirmation to onlookers that everything the narcissist has been saying must be true. Suddenly, the conversation is no longer about the narcissist’s abusive behavior; it’s about the victim’s reaction to it. Now, they are the problem.
Another important point is that narcissists are masters of deflection. They know that the best way to avoid responsibility is to shift the focus onto someone else. What better way to do that than to provoke the victim into a reaction that justifies the smear campaign they have already launched against them? I have to give them credit; it’s a clever move, albeit completely diabolical and sadistic.
Unfortunately, the target of these games is usually completely naive to the fact that not only do people in the world exist who do these things, but they are personally in a relationship with someone who is doing this to them right now, right under their nose. Essentially, they accomplish this by pushing and provoking the target relentlessly, provoking them to react in a way that is out of character. Then, they immediately put the spotlight directly on that reaction as proof that you are the problem. People believe them because they have been subtly fed this narrative for several months, if not years.
This is how narcissists rewrite history in real time. They manipulate perceptions so that you become the aggressor while they sit back, pretending to be innocent, shaking their heads, and playing the misunderstood victim.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
