Now, moving on to perhaps the most devastating part of this calculated takedown: what it does to the victim’s own perception of themselves. Once you’ve been made to feel like you’ve lost control, the narcissist capitalizes on that internal confusion, reinforcing the idea that you really are unstable, overreacting, or crazy. The manipulation becomes so deep that victims often begin to believe the very lies being spread about them. They question their own sanity, replaying events in their minds, wondering if maybe, just maybe, they were the problem all along.
This is how narcissistic abuse not only destroys reputations but also shatters a person’s self-identity. It’s not just about making others turn against you; it’s about making you turn against yourself. That, my friends, is the name of the game. Once they know that they have successfully gotten you to question your own perceptions and beliefs about yourself, they know they have you right where they want you. Essentially, they have gained full control over the narrative.
Make no mistake: this is the definition of psychological abuse. What the target is exposed to is no different from what cult leaders do to indoctrinate new members and gain control over their minds. The longer someone is exposed to this, the more devastating the consequences will be.
So, how does one protect themselves from this sadistic form of abuse and manipulation? The key to dismantling this psychological warfare is to recognize the game while it’s being played and refuse to participate. Remember, narcissists thrive on our reactions. Your emotional overwhelm and turmoil is the proof they use to convince others to believe this nonsense, as well as how they can even convince the actual victim of this rewritten and manufactured version of history.
Once you understand this—once you realize what you are being subjected to—you can begin to take back control. You do that by not engaging in the chaos, no matter how much they provoke you. The most powerful response is no response at all.
Another helpful strategy for the target is to document the narcissist’s behavior. If you feel yourself being set up, keep records of interactions, text messages, and conversations. Strengthening your inner circle is also crucial. Narcissists are great at turning people against you, so make sure you have people in your life who truly understand what’s happening. It’s critical to get support and validation from those who have lived through this themselves or who can clearly see the manipulation for what it is.
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