What makes it truly difficult to recognize a covert narcissist is their sweet tongue and charming demeanor. In the beginning, when they have their mask on, they seem incredibly pleasant to deal with. But beneath that facade, they are wolves—cunning and deceptive, hiding in sheep’s clothing.
Today, I am going to expose them inside and out. Their words may lie, but their body cannot hide their narcissism.
The topic for today is seven facial expressions that expose a covert narcissist. Stay until the very end because I will share my personal experiences with you.
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Facial Expression 1: The Sneer
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The first sign is the sneer—a facial expression where one side of their lips curls upward toward their eyes while the other side moves downward in a strange way. Often, they will also look down while doing this.
When dealing with a covert narcissist, you go through a whirlwind of emotions. You feel pain, yet you struggle to pinpoint its source. This sneer is often how they express disgust, silent rage, or passive-aggressive punishment without using words.
They use it when:
- They want to punish you.
- They want to put you down.
- They need to show how disgusted they feel by your presence.
- They are angry at you but refuse to verbalize it.
My mother used to do this all the time when she wanted to punish me for something she deemed wrong—even when it wasn’t. She would curl her lips in that odd way and pair it with passive-aggressive comments like:
“Oh, good for you. Fine. Yeah, you did the right thing.”
But her tone would drip with sarcasm, making it clear that, in her eyes, I had committed an offense against her. She would act like the biggest victim in the room—as if she had been destroyed, abandoned, and neglected.
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Facial Expression 2: Head Shakes
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The second sign is head shaking while looking down.
This expression silently communicates disappointment. Covert narcissists rarely use direct words to express anger; instead, they rely on passive-aggressive gestures like this one.
For example, if I took some time for myself instead of sitting with my family, my narcissistic mother would see this as a personal insult. To punish me, she would shake her head while looking down—never making eye contact.
This conveyed several messages:
- I had wronged her.
- I was a bad child for not obeying her.
- I should feel ashamed and undeserving of respect.
This kind of body-based stonewalling is a form of emotional control designed to make you feel guilty and anxious.
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Facial Expression 3: Deep Breaths and Eye Rolls
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The third sign is deep sighs and eye rolls, often combined.
Covert narcissists do this when you’re talking to them, making you feel like:
- You’re exaggerating.
- You’re being too sensitive.
- You’re making their life difficult.
Instead of responding with empathy, they sigh dramatically and roll their eyes, silently saying:
“Ugh, here we go again.”
This shows a complete lack of respect. A healthy person listens and holds space for someone expressing their emotions. But a covert narcissist thinks:
- They are above you.
- You are a nuisance.
- Your concerns don’t matter.
This is a clear sign of their hidden grandiosity and self-absorption.
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Facial Expression 4: Dagger Eyes
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The fourth sign is “dagger eyes”—a terrifying, piercing stare filled with silent rage.
A covert narcissist’s aggression is far more dangerous than an overt narcissist’s. While overt narcissists explode and cool down, covert narcissists stew in silent, seething hatred.
When my malignant narcissist father was angry, he would rage for a few minutes and then go silent. But when my covert narcissist mother was angry, she could stay in that state for hours.
When she gave me the dagger eyes, it was chilling. Her eyes would bulge out, staring at me as if she wanted to kill me in that moment. It was a total 180-degree shift—like a demon emerging from within.
Have you ever experienced this? Let me know in the comments.
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Facial Expression 5: Fake Laughter
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The fifth sign is fake laughter, especially with strangers.
Covert narcissists laugh at things that aren’t funny—especially when you’re serious. If you tell them:
“I’m working on an important project and need some quiet,”
instead of respecting your request, they laugh in your face.
This isn’t normal laughter. It’s a calculated move to mock, trigger, and belittle you. Their goal? To make you feel small.
They also put on a completely different persona around strangers. My mother, for example, would sulk around us, acting miserable. But the moment she was with outsiders, she was suddenly bubbly and joyful.
At first, I thought:
“Maybe we’re the problem. Maybe she’s just a free spirit, and we stifle her.”
But later, I realized: She was shape-shifting—manipulating different people with different facades.
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Facial Expression 6: Grumpy and Unhappy
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The sixth sign is acting grumpy and miserable when the attention isn’t on them.
Let’s say it’s your birthday or a wedding celebration. Instead of being happy, they act like it’s a funeral. They either sulk or demand everyone focus on their “problems.”
They will:
- Pretend to be happy for a few minutes, then suddenly act sad.
- Start complaining endlessly to shift the mood.
- Make the event about their struggles, not yours.
A normal, emotionally healthy person would celebrate with you. But a covert narcissist? They can’t handle not being the center of attention.
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Facial Expression 7: Sudden Crying
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The seventh and final sign is crying suddenly when you share good news.
Imagine you get a job offer and excitedly tell a covert narcissist. Instead of celebrating with you, they burst into tears, complaining about their own hardships.
I saw this firsthand when my friend—who had struggled immensely—got a job offer. He was overjoyed. But when he shared the news with us, my mother suddenly started crying and listing all her problems.
She completely stole the moment from him.
This behavior reveals their deep insecurity and resentment. They don’t want you to succeed—they want you to stay beneath them.
Conclusion
If you notice these facial expressions—smirks, sighs, eye rolls, dagger stares, and fake smiles—you are dealing with a covert narcissist.
They are condescending, manipulative, and lack empathy.
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