What if I told you that some of the most common phrases you hear aren’t just words; they’re weapons used to manipulate, gaslight, and control you? Today, I’m exposing common phrases narcissists use so you can recognize them for what they are when they happen. Shut it down immediately and take your power back. Let’s get into it!
The kinds of things narcissists say to manipulate, gaslight, control, and destabilize you.
Number one: “You’re overreacting.” Other versions of this are “You are so sensitive” and “I was only joking.” Translation: I don’t like being held accountable, so let me make you doubt yourself, your perception of reality, and maybe even your sanity. This, my friends, is gaslighting 101. You have a perfectly rational and legitimate emotional response to something hurtful, toxic, or insane—something they’ve done or said. Instead of owning their behavior, they flip it on you. What’s really happening is they see that you’re catching on to their toxic ways, and that threatens their ability to manipulate, dominate, and control you. So instead of coming clean or getting real, they choose to invalidate you in the hopes of making you question and second-guess yourself and your perception of reality—all while sidestepping any accountability or responsibility.
If they can get away with it, your best response is to stay grounded in what you know to be true. Trust your instinct; if something feels wrong or off, call it out. For example, say, “No, I’m responding appropriately to something that was hurtful,” and then not another word. Refuse to engage in the debate; it’s designed to wear you down, if not drive you completely bananas. So don’t go there, and don’t give them that.
Number two: “You’re crazy.” Translation: I’m provoking you, and when you react, I’ll use it against you. This is another classic gaslighting strategy. Narcissists poke, provoke, and prod until you finally react, and then they weaponize your reaction against you. They behave in an unbelievably toxic way, usually designed to elicit a reaction from you. The moment you snap, bam! You’re the crazy one, and they get to sit back, calm, cool, and collected while you look unstable in the relationship. Your best response? Simply do not engage at all—no arguing, no defending, and definitely no emotional outbursts. Instead, observe, see it for what it is, and detach. Set firm boundaries and remove yourself from the dynamic. Stay grounded in logic and keep a written record of your experience, including date and time stamps. You may never need it, but if the day comes that you do, you’ll be glad you have it. If nothing else, it will help you stay clear as you extricate yourself from the toxic abuse cycle.
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