Number three: “My ex is crazy.” Translation: I abused my ex until they finally lost it, and now I use their reaction to make myself look like the victim. This is a major red flag. If someone you’ve just met leads with how crazy their ex was, run! A healthy person doesn’t need to bash their ex. They may have had a bad experience, but if someone is hyper-fixated on their ex’s craziness, it’s because they played a role in creating it. Pay attention: are they constantly villainizing their ex while taking zero responsibility? If that’s the case, you’ll be the crazy ex soon enough if you ignore this red flag. Keep your eyes and ears wide open, and take time to carefully observe where a person is coming from before getting emotionally involved.
Now I want to hear from you! If you’ve ever heard any of these lines, drop a “Yes, I’ve heard this” in the comments below. If you’re ready to go deeper and truly break free, check out the Freedom Class, my 8-week transformational coaching program. We go all in on healing, rebuilding your confidence, and reclaiming your power after narcissistic abuse. Click the link in the description below to apply for a free one-on-one consultation with either myself or a member of my team. You don’t have to do this alone; I’ve got you.
Number four: “We’re just friends.” Translation: I need multiple sources of narcissistic supply to feed my sick ego, and I’m keeping this one in the rotation just in case. For a narcissist, relationships are transactions. They keep people on the back burner as backup options, and if you question their inappropriate behavior, they’ll flip it on you and call you jealous and insecure. They flirt, text, and maintain inappropriate connections under the guise of friendship. The moment you express concern or discomfort, they gaslight you by saying, “You’re jealous.” They keep their exes, admirers, and work friends around just to ensure you know they can replace you anytime they like.
So what do you do? Pay attention to inconsistencies and trust your gut. Tell yourself the honest truth: your mind may lie to you all day long, but your body never lies. If you’re catching them in lies early on, it isn’t going to get any better. Set clear boundaries around what is and isn’t okay for you in a relationship, and hold the standard for yourself. Whatever you do, refuse to accept constant invalidation of your feelings. You know what you see, hear, and feel; you can trust that.
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