A narcissist wants you to think and believe that they are all-powerful and omnipotent, and that nothing can ever impact that. But that is not the reality. The truth is, they do have buttons that, if pushed, can elicit reactions and make them go nuts and crazy. Let’s talk about that in today’s episode.
Number One: Do Not Take the Bait
When they are acting out, understand that a narcissist is a developmentally arrested child stuck in an adult’s body. Therefore, they have all the capabilities of an adult, but the maturity of a child. This means they are going to be aggressive, irrational, and will project things or say things that are completely far from reality. You cannot take what they say seriously because whatever comes from their mouth has no true foundation or basis.
So, when they start throwing a tantrum or acting out, you have to ignore them. Leave the room, take a shower, go for a walk, or just focus on your project. Completely ignore them because ignorance kills a narcissist’s ego. If you successfully do this when they are acting out—when they want your reaction the most—you can inflict maximum injury by leaving the room and clearly telling them that what they are saying and how they are behaving is completely unacceptable. This creates perceptual distance and sends the message that you are not going to take this BS from them.
Number Two: Deflect Attempts of Manipulation and Gaslighting
Remember to deflect when they try to manipulate and gaslight you. When they mess with your head and start distorting your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, hold on to your truth. Say something like, “Your opinions are yours, and mine are mine. You are entitled to have yours; my reality is not how you are describing it.”
That will also kill the narcissist’s ego because they want you to react. They want you to believe what they want you to believe. Once they make you believe, they gain a sense of control, which makes them feel special and powerful. When they try to gaslight or manipulate you, recognize what that elicits in you, acknowledge your emotions, and clearly say no. Create distance by stating that what you believe is not what they think. Your truth is known to you, and that is what matters most.
Number Three: Create Organization in Your Life
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Narcissists thrive on chaos and disorganization. They struggle with internal chaos and want to create as much disorganization as possible in your life. So, take a stand for yourself and create organization. If they want you to believe that your life is supposed to be a mess, prove them wrong by getting your life together. Get that job you’ve been looking for, sort out your education, or just organize things around the house.
The moment you create organization, it gives them a narcissistic injury big enough to take a step back and realize they can’t control you anymore. You recognize that your life is in your hands, and they can’t control it.
Before we move on to number four, I’m curious to know how you have controlled narcissists using their own personality traits. Drop your experiences in the comments below!
Number Four: Use Their Image Against Them
You and I both know that a narcissist is extremely image-driven. They want people to see them a certain way and will act kind, compassionate, or charismatic to maintain that image. You can corner them using their own image and insecurities.
For example, in a court situation, if they don’t agree with you, you can first get them to say yes to a couple of things that make them look good, such as putting their children’s needs before their own. Once they agree to these things, you can present that agreement, and the likelihood of them signing it will be quite high. They have to protect their image in front of others. This is how you can use their image to torture them—they are prisoners of their own personality.
Number Five: Focus on Rebuilding Your Life
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Focus on your life and rebuilding it. Heal yourself and bring yourself out of the darkness they have put you in. They want you to stay in that darkness forever. If you become the best version of yourself, that will be the biggest narcissistic injury. It proves to them that all their mechanisms are useless, and they have failed miserably.
They tried to destroy you, but you collected your pieces and rebuilt yourself, becoming better than before. Focus on creating a life that they would envy. The moment you step out of the bubble they have put you in and create your own life and reality, you will almost assassinate the narcissist’s false ego.
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