It’s also important for me to mention that a narcissist is very different from an extrovert. An extrovert is a person who likes to be around a lot of people, who likes to party, who likes to be a part of big groups, who likes to have a lot of attention around them, but that does not necessarily make them a narcissist. It’s how their nervous system works, it’s how they recharge their battery, but an extrovert is not necessarily a manipulator; they do not indulge in activities a narcissist does, and their desire to be out there is purely a part of who they are; it’s not driven by a desire to stay distracted. Someone can be an extrovert without being a narcissist, but there is a possibility that a narcissist can be extroverted because there are some introverted narcissists about whom we are going to talk about now. There are some narcissists who stay at home all the time; you’re the one who goes out and works, you’re the one who does all the groceries, you’re the one who takes care of the outside world, while they sit on the couch playing games or wasting time on their phone, constantly seeking attention on social media and not moving at all. If that is the type of narcissist you have dealt with, the earlier part of this episode may have confused you, but I would like to reassure you that just because the narcissist is at home does not necessarily mean they are not a narcissist. The theme is distraction; they have to be distracted all the time, and that distraction can come from video games, that can come from social media, anything, or that can come from talking with friends or relatives on their phone forever, for hours just to get fuel for their victimhood, especially if it is a covert narcissist that you’re dealing with.
In conclusion, narcissists go out there to stay distracted. They want to avoid all occasions that could invite them to connect with you at a deeper level. Yet, there are some narcissists who do not go out at all, which does not necessarily mean they’re not narcissists. What you have to remember is distraction, a constant chase for novelty, which they never find, and they are in a constant state of dysphoria.
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