Many people who have had long-term relationships with a covert narcissist don’t realize the extent of their behaviors because they are so sneaky and proficient at covering their tracks. They maintain a facade of being a good person, good citizen, and often a good Christian. However, their facade is very well-crafted; they seem to walk the walk—”seem” being the operative word. They appear to be many things that they actually are not.
You must remember that a narcissist’s biggest fear is exposure, and this goes double for the covert narcissist. Covert narcissists will go out of their way to give the impression that they are good people. So, why do covert narcissists cheat? Because they believe they are entitled to do so. They lack empathy for the person they are cheating on, and the impact of their actions on that person is minimal to nonexistent. They are exploitative, and when given the opportunity to take advantage of a situation where they believe they can have an affair, they will do so without hesitation.
Remember, they believe they are special, and covert narcissists, in particular, feel underappreciated, undervalued, and unacknowledged for their uniqueness. They feel slighted by life and believe they are owed much more than they have ever received. When another person enters the picture, it feeds their need for narcissistic supply. If they have been married and playing by the rules for a long time, and something presents itself that validates their beliefs of superiority, they will likely cheat without a second thought.
They gain fuel from the triangulation between their partner and the other person, which also provides them with significant narcissistic supply. They are so consumed by the need for supply and the belief that they are special and underappreciated that when an opportunity arises, they will jump on it. Unfortunately, they can do this easily because they lack empathy and believe they are entitled to do so.
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