It’s important to understand that narcissists like to feel in control of their environment and are constantly on the lookout for signs of trouble. They are extremely controlling and afraid of any change. As such, they often try to avoid conflict by blaming others for their mistakes.
The fear of being exposed is the primary motivation for narcissists to be abusive and controlling. They try to keep you on high alert while creating the illusion of success through manipulation and domination. However, once you recognize their patterns, making a narcissist fear you becomes easier. By identifying these signs, you can adjust your responses, improving the quality of your interactions and elevating your communication skills.
The more you engage with a narcissist, the more anxious they become. Anxiety is a constant, vague feeling that narcissists experience in both their body and mind. They live in perpetual paranoia, fearing that everything they have built could fall apart. Some narcissists express this anxiety by talking about doom and making others feel anxious, while others deny their feelings entirely.
In short, narcissists live in fear, but many of these fears are deeply buried. Let’s explore the things that constantly make them feel anxious and miserable.
1. Narcissists See You as a Threat
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Narcissists hide many things, burying them deep so that no one discovers them. It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to view everyone as a threat. Their paranoia makes them constantly afraid that their carefully crafted persona—which is fake—will be exposed.
Because of this, they are always on high alert and feel the need to control everything to create a sense of security for themselves. Their life is a constant competition, and they believe that people are watching and waiting for them to reveal their secrets. To mask their paranoia, they put on a charismatic facade, making it difficult to see how much they distrust and underestimate others—unless you get close to them.
However, since they are always wary of people, getting close to them is no easy task. They often project their fears onto others, assuming that everyone is as vulnerable as they are. To them, life is a game where they must strike first—either they manipulate and deceive others, or they risk being manipulated themselves. Their mindset revolves around gaining the upper hand, deceiving others to maintain control, and making people trust them while never trusting anyone in return.
2. Narcissists Fear Rejection and Abandonment
Rejection and abandonment are two of the greatest fears of a narcissist. Rejection is particularly dangerous to them because it can cause others to lose interest in them, while abandonment makes them feel like they have lost control over a relationship. Their biggest fear is that their partner will leave them before they can discard the relationship themselves.
Another reason narcissists fear rejection and abandonment is that they struggle to understand why someone would leave them. They cannot comprehend their partner’s disappointment—does it mean their hidden flaws have been discovered? This thought terrifies them. They feel devalued and attacked, which they cannot accept.
Because they believe they are indispensable, they try to manipulate and exploit others emotionally. Narcissists refuse to accept rejection, so they do whatever it takes to convince others that they are essential to their dreams and success. They will go to great lengths to avoid rejection and abandonment.
3. Narcissists Fear That You Will Expose Them
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Narcissists always lie to hide their insecurities, and they will do whatever it takes to keep those lies intact. They don’t want people to discover the truth about them, so they manipulate situations and individuals to ensure their secrets remain hidden. The fear of being exposed is one of their biggest anxieties.
4. Narcissists Fear Losing Control
When dealing with a narcissist, you may notice that they constantly exhibit signs of anxiety. This anxiety is an ongoing sense of doom that they project onto others. They may accuse you of being negative, unsupportive, or selfish—all as a way of avoiding their own internal fears.
The more anxious they become, the more resentful they feel toward you. To maintain control, they will go to great lengths to manipulate and dominate others, ensuring that no one ever discovers the truth about them.
This was a brief explanation of why narcissists are actually afraid of you. What’s your opinion on this?
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