Number two: when you stop suffering, stop caving in, and stop being subservient, and you stand tall for yourself, you set non-negotiables for yourself and operate from an authentic place. That is when they feel duped. But why? The expectation is that you should always live under their thumb. You should let them puppeteer you and dictate how your life goes—career-wise, relationship-wise, and in all other ways.
But when you stand tall, take your power back, reclaim your life, and say, “No, I am individuating. I’m not going to play the game in the name of maintaining this relationship. I am going to do what I think is right for me,” that is when they feel duped. They’ll tell you, “Oh, that’s wrong; it’s going to get you nowhere. Very soon, a time will come in your life when you’ll feel helpless and come begging to me. But when that happens, I
won’t be here to help you.” These are the exact words my mother used to tell me every single time I set some boundaries or did what I believed was right for me.
Let me tell you this: that time never came in my life when I recognized, “Oh, my mother was right, and I made a big mistake. I now need her help.” That never happened. She terrorized me intentionally because she wanted me to be a failure. When you stop being a failure, when you go against that grooming, that brainwashing, that programming you were subjected to, when you rewire your brain and take total control back of your life, your choices, and everything that happens in your life, you become the center of it. You become a disappointment to them. They feel deceived, their expectations unmet, and they see you as a significant betrayer.
Defying the Narcissist’s Image
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