Number five, and the last point: when you break the family curse. My father continued the cycle exactly as his father did—being abusive, malicious, vengeful, disconnected, cruel, cunning, and a total psychopath to his family and others. He created a minion. My grandfather and my father never stood up and asked themselves, “Am I doing the right thing? How are my choices impacting my family? How am I being present in my child’s life? What will this lead to?” They believed they would have control over their children’s lives for eternity. But God had different plans for me.
So when you go against that devil, when you undo his plans, when you destroy his monstrosity through your actions, through healing your wounds, and through overcoming your generational trauma, that is when you deliver a significant narcissistic injury. The “devil” in your life refers to the narcissistic family system you came from or the narcissistic partner who wanted you emotionally dead, who wanted you to suffer eternally.
When you create your own family—and that family is vastly different in dynamics from the one you were raised in—that is when they feel duped. They see you as a successful individual. If you treat your partner with kindness and respect, rather than following the abusive pattern they instilled in you, they feel invalidated. However, when you make different choices—positive, healthy choices occurring right in front of their eyes—they cannot manipulate or brainwash you anymore. They cannot gaslight you into thinking, “Oh, you are making a mistake,” or “You are giving too much importance to this other person, to your children, or even to yourself.”
That is when they feel truly defeated, duped, betrayed, neglected, and abandoned—but for good.
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