Narcissists always operate in a way that is best for themselves, even when they pretend otherwise. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance to grasp this basic yet fundamental concept when dealing with narcissists. This is due to the fact that, in certain respects, normies are also engaging in projection. They give narcissists the feeling of empathy and sympathy, which is exactly what they want. These people just can’t think of someone who is incapable of expressing empathy. As a result of this, the narcissist finds it quite simple to pick on these individuals.
If you’re a victim of a narcissist, you probably don’t have time to think about how or why someone could be so disgusting, greedy, and manipulative without the slightest bit of care towards others. It doesn’t really make a difference if narcissists are aware of how negatively they impact the lives of others. One of their primary objectives is to delay their victim’s discovery of their deception for as long as possible. And when the time comes that you finally discover the narcissist’s true characteristics and refuse to be controlled, things won’t be so good for you. But you need to remain strong and determined because this is what they will do to get you under their control again.
First, expect all kinds of dishonesty, blatant lies, and fact submission. Lies are false statements that are prepared and presented as if they were truthful and accurate when it comes to getting what they want. As we all know, narcissists are more than happy to say anything it takes. They dishonestly tell you the truth right in front of your face while concealing the truth in order to tell a lie. Primarily, the narcissist seeks to keep you hidden behind a veil of secrecy and deception so that he or she can abuse your lack of knowledge of critical information that might influence your decision-making in their favor. To keep everyone dancing to the same tune, they manipulate you and your sense of self by saying whatever it takes to keep everyone in their place. They insist on dominance and control.
Secondly, in order for narcissists to take advantage of their chosen target, they must first gain complete control over them. They’ll frequently try to exert their authority over every aspect of your existence. In certain cases, this conduct manifests itself in several ways, including but not limited to managing the money, making dinner plans, deciding how your children are raised, determining where you live, and deciding whether or not you work. Telling the narcissist to go away is the best thing you can do for yourself, unless you don’t mind having your every move regulated. Your only option, as I presume you do, is to sever the connection. It’s not always as simple as it appears, and with children in tow, it’s much more challenging. Another example is if they’re an elderly family member, a coworker, or an employer. However, there is always a way out of every situation, and the path to rehabilitation begins with self-healing and recovery work, as well as establishing a strong support network. This is a team effort, and I think none of us can do it alone.
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Next, number three is crazy-making. Crazy-making conversations and fact-twisting. What’s going on with this one? The narcissist claims to have said or done something only to later deny it. Don’t allow yourself to be confused about your own perceptions; you are being used as a pawn in an elaborate ruse to invalidate and denigrate you, making you doubt your own sanity and your own vision of reality, gradually driving you insane over time. A narcissist’s tendency to engage in mind-bending crazy conversations like this usually emerges fairly quickly. As long as they can get your attention, they’ll drain your critical life force energy while being entertained. The narcissist gets all the benefits; they employ nonsensical talk to keep you spinning in circles, like a puppet on strings, attempting to explain and defend your position while expending a great deal of effort in an attempt to be heard and understood by them.
What follows is a strategy I’d like to share with you.
Four: Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse and manipulation in which the person doing it lies, rejects, and invalidates what you think you know about the situation to support their own skewed story. Narcissists will change and twist facts, downplay relationship crimes, and leave out significant parts of the truth, convincing you that they’re not guilty while making you doubt your reality. The point of giving you false information is to make you question your memory and what you know to be true. Any harm caused by them is made to look like they didn’t mean it or didn’t even know what they were doing. Narcissism is all about changing the past to make things better for themselves, reminding people that they are wonderful individuals.
Five: Emotional Blackmail. The narcissist uses emotional blackmail as another means of manipulating others. Unfortunately, empaths who haven’t yet discovered their own personal power can be particularly vulnerable to its effects. This is because the narcissist is well aware that their intended victim desires the narcissist’s affection and endorsement. Most of us want to feel safe and secure, to be loved. We also want to be accepted and validated. In addition, the narcissist will take advantage of your lack of self-confidence. A potential narcissist could tell you that they might propose to you someday if only you’re good enough, or they might give you a raise, a promotion, or an award to show you how much you’re valued.
Withholding emotional support is just one of the ways they’ll keep you searching for their acceptance. In the meantime, you find yourself wondering if there’s something wrong with you—maybe they would show you the affection you crave if you were good enough or better in some way, or if you showed proper degrees of compassion, care, and concern. As a result, no matter how hard you try or how well you perform, they will always find fault with you and continue to withhold any kind of support, emotional or otherwise. “If only you had done it this way,” or, “If you had done it differently, I would have helped you or supported you more.” Of course, this is a lie. There’s no limit to the condescending ways they’ll try to make you feel unworthy, inferior, incompetent, and small. Regardless of the methods the narcissist uses, they must keep you low and dependent on them for your sense of identity. The irony is that they are using these tactics in the first place because they lack self-awareness and need to control you in order to receive their fix of narcissistic supply.
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Six: Passive Aggression. Narcissists use emotional manipulation through passive-aggressive behaviors, such as the silent treatment, rolling their eyes, talking about you as if you weren’t there, or glaring at you. In addition to ignoring or otherwise marginalizing you consciously, in order to downplay and excuse the narcissist’s hurtful insults, they will claim they are merely trying to be helpful and provide a solution to the problem. The narcissist believes that their attacks and insults are nothing more than a sincere effort on their part to assist, insisting that you are just too sensitive to the situation. Any other person they’ve persuaded to view you as inferior will likely follow suit with more put-downs and disappointment on their part. This narcissistic approach is designed to degrade, dominate, and belittle you while masking the narcissist’s apparent faults.
When a narcissist refuses to communicate, for example, this is known as the silent treatment. They punish you with emotional and/or physical detachment to make you behave. But for what purpose? Even if they utilize this strategy as one of their preferred methods, they employ it to convey disrespect and signal that you are not worthy of their attention. It’s important to remind you of your perceived inferiority so you don’t lose sight of how the narcissist sees you, as well as to intentionally cause you to feel rejected and abandoned. Emotional manipulators and their spineless accomplices simply lack empathy.
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