A narcissist can poison you with food and still act like they are doing you a favor. Literally, they will hand you a plate and smile. Everyone around will say, “Wow, how lucky you are to have someone who cooks for you.” You will respond with, “Thank you.” Then, a few hours later, your stomach is in knots. It feels weird, or your lips are tingling because—oops!—they forgot you are allergic to peanuts.
Sounds extreme? It’s not. This happens more often than people want to admit.
So why are we even talking about narcissists and cooking? Because narcissism is not confined to grand gestures or emotional abuse in a relationship. It spills and seeps into the everyday: how they speak, how they look at you, how they parent, how they give gifts, and yes, how they cook. What is scary is how their narcissism hides beneath what looks like normal behavior. You only understand the pattern once you have lived it long enough.
Let’s talk about the first habit, shall we?
Weird Habit #1: Uneven Food Distribution
Narcissists distribute food unevenly based on how they feel about you at that moment. This one used to happen a lot in my household. If a narcissist is love-bombing someone—maybe a guest they want to impress, a sibling they are currently favoring, or even a partner they are trying to keep hooked—that person gets the best. They will be served the warmest, most flavorful portion, arranged nicely on a plate with extra care and presentation. It’s like watching a scene from a cooking show.
But if you are the target that week—let’s say you are the scapegoat, the one who spoke back, or simply the one they are projecting their shame onto—you get the scraps: the watery curry, the stale bread, the overcooked rice that has been reheated too many times. You will sit there trying not to show the hurt on your face, pretending that it’s okay, that you do not care. But inside, you will feel that sting, that small but unmistakable message: You do not matter.
The most cruel part? They won’t say anything. They will act completely normal. Sometimes they will even make a joke or gaslight you if you mention it. “It’s just food,” they’ll say. “You’re too sensitive.” But you will notice the pattern repeating over and over. The food becomes a form of reward and punishment, a mirror of how they feel about you in that moment.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
