When a narcissist falls apart, but you don’t see it: the signs you’re missing. When narcissists collapse, you might think that if a narcissist were crumbling, it’d be obvious—like a meltdown, a tantrum, or some kind of chaotic explosion. But that’s the tricky part: it doesn’t always happen that way. The collapse can be quiet, slow, and almost invisible unless you know what to look for. They can be falling to pieces inside while still keeping up the act, clinging to whatever illusion of power they have left. They don’t have to look broken; they don’t have to act defeated. In fact, they might seem just fine. But trust me, the signs are there; you just have to know where to look.
Let’s break it down. Here are five red flags that scream “this narcissist is quietly falling apart.”
Their appearance starts to slip or becomes weirdly over the top. Narcissists live for control, and a huge part of that control is their image. They obsess over how they look, how people see them, and the impression they leave. But when the cracks start forming, their appearance is one of the first things to change. Some stop caring altogether; the perfectly put-together look is gone. Suddenly, their clothes are wrinkled, mismatched, or worn out for too many days in a row. Grooming habits slip; you’ll notice little things like messy hair, unpolished shoes, or a suit they once wore with confidence now looking awkward on them. On the flip side, some go overboard; they try too hard, dressing up for no reason, wearing flashy clothes to places that don’t call for it. It’s not about style; it’s about panic. They feel their grip slipping, so they double down on the mask. And no, this isn’t the same as someone going through a rough patch or struggling with depression; this is about control. A narcissist who once used their looks as a weapon is now stumbling to wield it—that’s the giveaway.
They start kissing up hard. Narcissists don’t do humility. They’re wired to take, to control, to be on top. But when the fall begins, something shifts. Suddenly, they’re being nice—too nice. Complimenting you, agreeing with you, offering to help. At first glance, it might seem like they’re changing. Don’t buy it; this isn’t kindness—it’s survival mode. They’re losing their grip on the power they once had, so they scramble to win people over. Maybe they throw gifts at you, become suddenly interested in your life, or start acting like your biggest fan. But it’s all calculated—a desperate attempt to hold on to the admiration they feel slipping through their fingers. And here’s the kicker: they don’t actually appreciate anything you do for them. They’ll hate you for it. You lift them up, and they’ll push you down the moment they’re steady again. A narcissist in freefall isn’t looking for a lifeline; they’re looking for another person to use as a stepping stone.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
