If you’re an empath, this is for you. Today, I’m unpacking 10 reasons why most people can’t handle you and all that high-vibrating energy you carry. You ready? Let’s do it!
So let’s talk about the 10 most common reasons why, if you’re an empath, most people can’t handle you. Interestingly enough, not all, but many of my highly empathic clients come into my programs completely unaware that they are, in fact, full-blown empaths, and more importantly, what that means in terms of how empaths process and relate to the world around them.
So if you’re a highly sensitive, highly intuitive, deeply empathetic person, you are, in my view, a spiritual warrior—a missioned soul. Deep down, you know you came to the planet with a divine mission and purpose. Even if you haven’t quite figured out what that is yet, you’re aware there’s a divine blueprint within you, a sacred contract and calling edged into the very fabric of your being on a soul level. That is the empath I’m speaking to today.
So for those of you who know this is true about yourself and you’ve gone through life hearing things like, “You’re just too sensitive,” “You’re too emotional,” “You need thicker skin,” or my personal favorite, “You should stop speaking your mind so much,” in other words, the message is that there’s something wrong with you as you are, with all that empathy and sensitivity and penchant for truth. If that speaks to you, I have good news: Although I’m certain you’re not a perfect person, nor am I, the good news is there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, even if you’ve been told your whole entire life that there is.
Even if you’ve always felt emotionally battered by the world, and more specifically, the people around you, even if you grew up in a family where you were repeatedly told what a problem your sensitive nature is, you have to know that your sensitivity is actually a gift. It’s the gift that you bring to the planet. It is, in fact, your superpower—unless, of course, you’re allowing others to exploit you and use it against you.
If that’s the case, when you don’t know or understand this about yourself, it can feel like a curse to be as empathetic, intuitive, and sensitive as many of us are. And even though the empath superpowers will manifest in a variety of ways and a range of degrees of strength, most people, especially fear-based, insecure people, simply cannot handle the frequency that a full-blown empath carries. They find it disturbing. We are, by nature, disruptive, and that’s on purpose. It’s no accident.
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In spite of what you’ve been told your entire life, I promise you it’s not because there’s something wrong with you. Quite the opposite, actually. There is so much that is so very right with you, and it’s time you start seeing it that way. Because when empaths finally realize the truth about themselves and get in touch with the truth of who we are, we can go out into the world with a little more elegance and a little more grace and poise, expressing ourselves in a way where we can stand in our truth authentically and unapologetically, allowing other soul-aligned humans to enter our lives while exercising wise discernment and choosing to love those who aren’t so aligned from a distance.
And in doing so, we learn how to honor ourselves, trust ourselves, and how to not dim our light and shrink in an attempt to make others feel more comfortable. You know all the ways we tend to sell our soul in an effort to appease unhappy and insecure people. Once empowered, we don’t do that anymore. So it’s vitally important for us to learn to be true to our authentic selves, no matter who is uncomfortable or who does not like it. We want to be true to who we are at our core and honor our divine essence.
Now, with all of that said, let’s dive into 10 reasons why most people can’t handle you if you’re an empath.
Number one: You stand for the truth. That’s right! Empaths value honesty and integrity. And when empowered, we fully stand for the truth, no matter how inconvenient, uncomfortable, or unpopular. If you’re a full-blown empath, you are honest, perhaps even to a fault, and that can make a lot of people really uncomfortable.
Now, there is a shadow side to this. Many empaths who have yet to do their personal healing and recovery work and therefore still struggle with untreated codependency have yet to develop the habit of protecting their own privacy. Our natural tendency is to go through life like an open book, which is fine when you’re surrounded by well-intentioned, decent, kind, and genuinely loving people who actually care about your best interests and have integrity. But sadly, that’s not most people. So empaths often have to learn how to set healthy limits and boundaries and how to respect their own privacy.
Moreover, if you’re an empath and you’re not living in alignment with your truth, and for whatever reason you’re still carrying toxic secrets or lies of any kind, perhaps from your childhood, my friend, you have to figure out a way to deal with that stuff so you can set yourself free. There will be no real peace for you as an empath until you do. Again, empaths, by their very nature, value honesty and stand for the truth. The truth is everything for an empath. And if we’re out of alignment and we’re not living in our truth, if we’re still carrying toxic secrets, lies, or lies by omission, and all the shame that goes along with it, we will get sick emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and ultimately physically.
It’s a big one. Now hear me: If I can’t stand in my truth in a relationship with you, or anyone for that matter, if I have to pretend to be someone or something I’m not, feel something I don’t, forget something you and I both know is true in order to be in any kind of relationship with you, today I am very clear that I am in the wrong room, and I’m just not interested— not anymore. No thank you! Remember, the truth is everything for an empath.
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Number two: Empaths ask too many questions. As the old saying goes, the truth doesn’t mind being questioned; it’s the lies that don’t like being challenged. So it goes without saying that liars don’t like being challenged either, now do they? The reality is, empaths ask far too many questions, especially for empathy-impaired emotional manipulators living a lie on a power trip—meaning people with a destructive narcissistic personality pattern. Full-blown empaths are genuinely and sincerely curious about everything, in particular people, their lives, and what makes them tick.
So again, especially for narcissistic people, empaths ask far too many questions because, frankly, narcissists simply cannot be bothered to tell the whole truth. Nor are they the least bit interested in contemplating the hard questions of life. And when we are self-aware and we understand this, this is where we can choose to express ourselves differently depending on who we happen to be dealing with. We can learn to exercise wise discernment, avoid inflicting narcissistic injury, and sidestep the inevitable narcissistic rage that comes along with accidentally poking the bear just by being our authentic selves.
And remember, this isn’t a value issue. We all have inherent value and worth, but the truth is we’re all in different places. Some of us are further along our path of growth and evolution, and some of us have more to hide than others, and this is especially true of narcissistic people.
Number three: Empaths know what they want. That’s right! An empowered empath is very clear and knows exactly what he or she wants. Now, I’m talking about empowered empaths here. If you still don’t know this about yourself and/or you have untreated codependency and unresolved family of origin wounding and trauma, you haven’t graduated into an empowered empathic state yet. So you might still be confused about who you are, why you’re here, and what you really want. You might still be in the process of figuring out what’s right for you, what you actually deserve.
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But typically, an empath will have a really good idea. Deep down, they know! And if they stepped into their power to any degree, getting where they want to go is a priority for an empath. There comes a point where we just wake up. I think all of humanity is moving in this direction, but for some of us, it’s happening faster than others. Some of us are leading the way, so to speak. Again, it’s not a value issue; we all have value, but it’s obvious some people are waking up faster than others. And once an empath starts to wake up, you know you’re on a mission— even if that isn’t completely crystallized in terms of what it is, you know you came here for a reason, a purpose. There is a call on your life, and you know that it’s an important call.
And the more you reclaim your power, get clear, and raise your vibration, the less time you’ll have for deeply unconscious, empathy-impaired people. Instead, you start loving yourself, taking care of yourself, and you’ll get on path. You get about the business of doing what you came here to do, which ultimately boils down to clarity. An empowered empath is clear and empowered; clarity is all about knowing exactly who you are, why you’re here, and what you want.
Number four: Empaths want meaningful relationships with other empathetic people.** This includes their partners, which can be a challenge for many of us. Because if you’re anything like I was for years, simply by virtue of my early experiences with my family of origin and all the unresolved and unhealed stuff I carried for so long, I went through life attracting one destructive narcissist after another. Well, needless to say, this area of my life was very challenging until I finally surrendered and did the real healing and recovery work that I needed to do.
But even when we aren’t running a pattern of attracting one destructive narcissist after another, the truth is it can be difficult for the average person to show up for and hold space for a highly empathic human with the depth of intensity if they don’t carry the same level of empathy themselves. Empaths go deep and want many levels of complexity and authenticity. And, in fact, not just romantically, but in friendships as well. Surface-level, superficial, all the fake image and false persona BS that many people lead with is hard for an empath to handle.
This is why it’s on us to do our own work. The more we do our work, the more we open ourselves up to attract people who actually resonate at the same level. I know for me, empathy-impaired people started to fall out of my life in every way imaginable. Sometimes more painful than others, for sure, but always for my highest good, always taking me to higher ground. And the more I did my own internal healing and recovery work, the less compelled I was toward people who weren’t soul-aligned. They weren’t attracted to me anymore either; I’m not much fun for a narcissist— not anymore.
Now, comment below and tell me whether or not any of this resonates as true for you. Let me know in the comment section below. And if you’d like to learn more about the possibility of working with me in one of my coaching programs, there’s a link in the description below this video where you can apply to see if you qualify for a free one-on-one consultation with either myself or a member of my team.
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Number five: Intimacy is a given with empaths. An empath is not afraid to let you see their vulnerable side. And, although some people may see that as a weakness, in reality, it takes a lot of strength and courage to be willing to be vulnerable in front of others. Empaths do this quite naturally. People who walk around pretending they’re never vulnerable are kidding themselves; that’s not strength—not even close.
However, those of us who have the courage to let our guard down and be seen for real have what it takes in terms of internal strength to drop our guard and be authentic, real, and admit that we’re feeling a little fragile or vulnerable, or whatever it might be. Now, that takes courage and strength. To be clear, this does not mean we let our guard down and expose our vulnerability or open ourselves up to people who have shown themselves to be unsafe on any level. That’s not what I’m saying. But if you’re an empath, know that your capacity to be vulnerable is a strength—a good thing. Just be wise about who, where, when, and how you choose to show your more tender side. Not everyone deserves your heart.
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Number six: Empaths see through you. Empaths see through the crap and all the BS, even if they don’t let on. People who suffer from self-esteem and confidence issues don’t tend to hold their own very well with highly empathic people, especially an empowered empath. Not because the empath is lacking in empathy, tolerance, or compassion, but because their own fear and insecurity and feelings of inadequacy get in the way.
I know this is true in my own experience, and I think we’ve all had the experience where insecure, fear- and shame-based people are easily triggered by us. They can’t hold their own well with highly empathic people because empaths are so in touch with their own feelings and the state of affairs we find ourselves in. We can pick up on phonies and impostors in a nanosecond, and we see right through the fake, phony, artificial, and superficial. None of that can withstand the presence of a truly empowered empath for very long. We see you. We feel you. And we’re on to you.
We can feel it. We know when we’re dealing with a false persona—the mask, the make-believe, and pretend that many people show up with. Fundamentally, because we can’t make contact with your heart—your true self—because you haven’t done so yourself, there’s nothing to connect to; not in any real way. And truth be told, that’s okay. That’s simply where some people are at—no judgment and no criticism. It just makes it really, really difficult for empaths to develop any kind of real or genuine friendship or relationship when that’s the case. We feel it even from great distances. Again, an empowered empath will be on to you quickly and will either disengage or choose to approach with caution, recognizing that they simply may not be able to connect with someone who is not living authentically.
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Number seven: Empaths have a powerful presence. When you walk into a room as an empowered empath, your energy can fill the space, often without you even saying a word. People can feel your vibration, your intensity, and your awareness. This presence can be both magnetic and overwhelming to some. For those who are insecure or struggle with their own self-image, it can feel like a tidal wave crashing down, stirring up their insecurities and fears. They may feel intimidated or threatened by your ability to command attention and evoke emotions, and that can lead to discomfort or even hostility.
Conversely, many people find that they are drawn to you and feel inspired in your presence. They may feel a sense of relief, safety, or comfort, which can create a sense of attraction and deep connection. This duality of reactions is just one of the reasons that many people can’t handle empaths and the strong energy they carry.
Number eight: Empaths can trigger emotional release. With your strong emotional empathy, you not only feel others’ emotions but can also trigger a powerful emotional release in those around you. This can create profound and healing moments, but it also can be unsettling for those who are not ready or willing to confront their emotions.
Many people live with emotional baggage, past traumas, and unresolved feelings. When they are confronted with your sincere, open-hearted presence, it can bring up powerful feelings that they have buried away. While some may find healing and liberation in this process, others may react defensively or retreat because they are simply not prepared to deal with their own inner struggles.
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Number nine: Empaths often prefer solitude. Because empaths absorb so much energy from their surroundings, having high levels of social interaction can be exhausting. As a result, many empaths thrive in quiet environments and value their alone time. This desire for solitude can be misunderstood by others as aloofness or disinterest, but it’s simply a necessary self-care practice.
Truthfully, the social landscape often doesn’t understand this need. Many people may inadvertently push an empath to participate in social gatherings or engage more than they feel comfortable with. This can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and feelings of rejection when, in reality, the empath just needs a moment to recharge and regroup from the overwhelming stimuli they experience.
Number ten: Empaths are often misunderstood. Ultimately, being an empath can lead to feeling alone or isolated, as many people simply don’t understand the depth of what you experience. Many empaths have encountered the “mysterious” label, being told that they are too sensitive or emotional and, at times, even being judged for having needs that others deem “excessive.” This misunderstanding can lead to feelings of isolation, pushing empaths to retreat further into themselves and find solace in their own company or with a select few friends who truly get them.
Moreover, navigating the world of relationships can feel like a minefield, trying to avoid being misunderstood or labeled. Many people may not realize how deeply empaths feel and perceive emotions, leading to misaligned perceptions about how they express themselves.
In conclusion, it’s crucial for empaths to embrace their unique gifts and recognize the power they possess. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who understand and appreciate your qualities can be a game-changer. Learning to set boundaries, practicing self-care, and trusting your intuition can guide you in navigating relationships with others.
Remember, your sensitivity and empathy are strengths that can illuminate the world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you—only beauty in the depth of your soul, waiting to shine brightly for those who are ready to embrace it.
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