Now let’s talk about another way to get revenge against a narcissist that they won’t see coming: getting the full support of people around you. To a narcissist who wants to isolate you and smear your name, this is the ultimate slap in the face—in the best possible way.
Where do you start when you’ve been isolated for a long time, and the narcissist has successfully turned others against you? It feels like an uphill battle, almost impossible, right? Because of that, and because it feels like you’re starting from such a low place, I want to kick off this topic with a quote by author bell hooks: “Sometimes people try to destroy you precisely because they recognize your power, not because they don’t see it, but because they see it and don’t want it to exist.”
If you’ve been isolated or people have turned their backs on you, this moment is pivotal. You can accept the narcissist’s narrative, which may sound like, “You’re worthless and nobody likes you,” or you can build back stronger and prove that the narcissist was wrong about you. As a bonus, anyone they may have turned against you will also get to witness your comeback moment, and that’s always a good feeling.
Start by getting real about your current situation. Take note of all the things that are objectively true—both good and bad. How many people do you have in your corner right now? Have you seemingly lost friends or family members along the way, whether while you were in this relationship or in a smear campaign that came later? Think of this as your ground zero—the place where the fallout from the narcissist is most obvious.
The benefit of looking at it this way is that it doesn’t get worse from here. Cherish the good that surrounds you right now; that good can come along with you as you move to higher ground. But also acknowledge the bad. It’s your time to part ways with all of that. If someone was swayed against you, allow it to be. Anyone who believes lies about you without hearing your side of the story was already looking for an excuse to turn on you; they’re not worth another minute of your time.
If you want to revisit any of those relationships later, when you’re on higher ground and feeling stronger, that’s entirely up to you. But for now, focus on the things that you can more easily affect.
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