Now, let’s get back to the topic of revenge. Imagine how good a narcissist would feel about successfully isolating you and turning others against you. Not only do they get to hurt you, but they also prove to themselves that their powers of manipulation are far-reaching as they successfully manipulate other people out of your life.
I think the phrase “drunk on power” accurately describes a narcissist’s mental state at this stage. Now, let’s flip the script. Imagine this narcissist, all drunk on power, finding out or witnessing firsthand that you were actually able to strengthen the remaining friendships you had. All of those relationships emerged stronger after all the narcissist’s hard work to destroy what you had. Picture them getting a front-row seat to you being genuinely appreciative and grateful for having seen everyone’s true colors—now you can focus on the people who matter to you most.
It’s almost as if the narcissist did you a favor. I know, it sounds painful and may feel like they didn’t do you a favor at all, but eventually, you may start to see it that way. If you start to adopt this mindset now, or at least be open to it, the narrative will change for you. You will begin to see little by little, step by step, that healing is a process that takes time, but you’ll start glimpsing hope in what once felt hopeless.
If you can actually undo the narcissist’s damage, you can regain control—not only of your life but also of the power dynamic. Just be sure to take your newfound power as far away from the narcissist as you can. If you can do that, you’ll secure this as a major win.
Now, let’s spend a minute or two talking about a more common revenge method often called “the glow up.” This concept applies just as much to men as it does to women. When you start taking care of your mind and body, you will naturally look more attractive and feel better. Even if it feels like it goes against everything you want to do right now, try to fit self-care into your routine. It really isn’t about revenge—revenge is more like a happy side effect.
If you’ve just come out of a relationship with a narcissist, your emotions might be all over the place. You may be struggling with mood swings, anxiety, or mild depression. These feelings are all normal as your nervous system starts to reset. Of course, if it ever seems extreme, definitely see a professional to get to the bottom of what might be going on. But do understand that your nervous system needs time to reset after walking on eggshells and waiting for the other shoe to drop for so long.
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