Let’s talk about number two: Cortisol Spikes. Have you ever felt like your body is running on high alert even when you’re completely exhausted? That’s what happens when chronic stress from narcissistic abuse messes with your cortisol levels. Cortisol, often called the stress hormone, is meant to help you deal with emergencies, like getting out of the way of a speeding car. However, in a toxic environment where you’re always attacked or manipulated, your body stays in constant emergency mode. Dr. Gabor Maté explains in his book When the Body Says No how long-term stress can hijack your body’s natural rhythms. It makes it hard to relax, let alone sleep. So even when you’re physically in bed, your brain is on guard, scanning for danger like it’s still stuck in survival mode. The problem is that cortisol isn’t just keeping you awake; it’s disrupting your entire sleep-wake cycle. Normally, cortisol levels drop at night to help you wind down, but if you’ve been under constant emotional pressure, they can stay high, leaving you wired instead of sleepy.
Let’s move on to number three: Nightmares. Have you ever woken up from a nightmare feeling like you’re still in the middle of it? For victims of narcissistic abuse, this can happen all too often. Trauma has a sneaky way of showing up in your dreams; it replays painful memories or creates new unsettling scenarios that leave you shaken. These nightmares aren’t just random; they’re your brain’s way of trying to process the emotional chaos you’ve been through. As Dr. Matthew Walker, author of Why We Sleep, explains, dreams act as a form of overnight therapy. But when the trauma is too overwhelming, those dreams can feel more like nightmares. They drag you back into moments you’d rather forget and wake you up abruptly. The problem with these nightmares is that they disrupt your sleep cycle, making it even harder for your body and mind to recover. According to psychologist Francine Shapiro, who developed EMDR therapy, trauma memories are often stored in a fragmented way, and these fragments can come alive in your dreams. Remember, your nightmares are not a sign of weakness; they’re a reflection of the strength it takes to survive and heal from something so difficult.
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