Now let’s continue to number four: Insomnia. Have you had those nights where no matter how tired you are, your brain just won’t shut off? That’s what insomnia feels like for many victims of narcissistic abuse. Anxiety and depression from constant manipulation and criticism can keep your mind racing with worry or sadness when you’re trying to rest. Anxiety makes you obsess over “what ifs” and replay arguments while depression adds a heavy layer of hopelessness that makes it hard to wind down. What makes it worse is that insomnia isn’t just about struggling to fall asleep; it’s also about waking up in the middle of the night and staring at the ceiling, feeling restless and overwhelmed. The emotional weight of abuse messes with your body’s natural rhythms, leaving you wired but exhausted. Dr. Shelby Harris, a behavioral sleep medicine specialist, suggests focusing on small steps to break the cycle, like creating a consistent bedtime routine or practicing relaxation exercises. She says, “Your body learns what you teach it. If you teach it to associate your bed with worry, it will stay worried.”
Number five: Hyper Awareness of Noise. Have you ever noticed how certain sounds can make your heart race, even if they’re not that loud? For victims of narcissistic abuse, this sensitivity can be intense. Constant stress and fear of conflict can train your brain to be hyper-aware of every noise, like footsteps or a raised voice. Dr. Peter Levine, author of Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, explains that trauma puts your nervous system on high alert and makes you more sensitive to sounds that could signal a threat. So even when you’re safe, your brain struggles to believe it, and every small noise feels like a potential alarm. This hyper-awareness doesn’t just make you jumpy during the day; it follows you into the night. When you’re trying to sleep, your ears seem to magnify every creak or rustle, keeping you awake because your brain thinks it needs to protect you. This can lead to a vicious cycle of exhaustion and anxiety. Simple grounding techniques, like white noise machines or meditative music, can create a sense of calm and help you retrain your mind to trust that not every sound is a warning.
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