Another illustration involves a person who was married for only two months when their wife declared that their side of the family would be excluded from meaningful time together. She wanted to spend special days only with her family. At first, he thought she was exaggerating, but she wasn’t. When he protested, she showed pure hatred. Over the years, her behavior only worsened.
This situation is intriguing because it seems to have emerged early in their marriage. It suggests she must have hidden her true self during the courtship. This woman, without explicitly saying it, was declaring that her family of origin provided her with things he did not. She seemed to be a “Golden Child” and was too insecure to look beyond what her family had given her.
This ex-wife’s narrow mindset consumed her, while her husband was saying, “Let’s expand our family.” But she insisted on her version of acceptance, dismissing any suggestion of a broader family connection.
The key takeaway when dealing with a narcissist’s hateful agenda is to understand that their disdainful treatment stems from their own internal struggles. They want you to believe that you are inadequate and defective, but that is pure projection. Don’t buy into it. Remember that you are dealing with someone who is psychologically fixated in a very early stage of development.
If you feel you could use some therapeutic assistance, know that I’ve been sponsored for years by BetterHelp.com, which has a whole team of licensed professional therapists. If you have a need, please follow the link below, answer a few questions, and get the help you deserve.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey. Take advantage of the resources available. Why do narcissists need to hate you? It’s because they carry unresolved pain within themselves. They won’t admit it, but that’s the reality. They displace their issues onto you. Decide that you will not be a receptacle for their psychological damage; take responsibility for yourself, not for their dysfunctional way of life. I hope you can move forward with steadiness and peace, even if they cannot join you.
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