4. Unusual Humor
Victims of narcissistic abuse often have a unique sense of humor that can be pretty dark or self-deprecating. They may use jokes to lighten the mood or deflect tension, which can be their way of coping with uncomfortable feelings. It’s like a shield they put up to protect themselves. Dr. Maria Reynolds explains that humor can be a powerful tool for those who have experienced pain, allowing them to regain some control over their emotions. So when they crack a joke that seems heavy or pokes fun at themselves, it’s not just ordinary humor; it’s their way of processing experiences that might still feel too raw or painful.
5. Compulsive Caretaking
Victims of narcissistic abuse often try to fix other people’s problems almost like it’s a reflex. This compulsive caretaking can stem from their past, where they felt the need to manage situations to feel safe or valued. As Dr. Jennifer Fred explains, those who have been abused often become hyper-focused on others’ needs as a way to avoid their pain. They might think that by helping others, they can find some control or approval that they didn’t receive when they needed it. So if you see them jumping in to solve someone else’s issues, it’s not just about being helpful; it’s also a way for them to cope with their own experiences and emotions. Understanding this can help you appreciate their intentions while reminding them that taking care of themselves is okay.
6. Inconsistency in Social Media
When you’re friends with someone who has experienced narcissistic abuse, you might notice they’re super active on social media one day and then completely disappear the next. This inconsistency often comes from their emotional ups and downs. They may share a lot when feeling good but pull back when overwhelmed or anxious. As psychologist Dr. Roman Deasa points out, those who have experienced emotional trauma often struggle with boundaries, leading to erratic behaviors online. So if they fluctuate between posting frequently and going silent, remember it reflects their emotional journey, not their feelings about you.
7. Nervous Habits
When chatting with someone who has experienced narcissistic abuse, you might notice they have some nervous habits like fidgeting, tapping their fingers, or playing with their hair. These behaviors can be their way of managing anxiety or stress that bubbles up from their past experiences. As Dr. Laura B. Paac says, nervous habits often serve as coping mechanisms for people dealing with unresolved trauma. It’s like their body is trying to find a way to soothe emotional discomfort they might not even be fully aware of. So if you see them fidgeting a lot, it’s not necessarily about being rude or uninterested; it’s just their way of coping with feelings that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Understanding this can help you be more supportive and patient as they navigate their feelings.
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