Have you ever wondered why narcissists react differently when you stand up for yourself? If you’ve personally dealt with narcissistic behavior, you know how confusing and frustrating it can be when their responses don’t meet your expectations. Whether it’s at home or at work, understanding their patterns can help us handle our relationships with them more effectively.
But here’s where things get interesting. Narcissists see those who stand up for themselves as too strong and consider them a threat. Why? These individuals radiate confidence and self-reliance, living independent lives unaffected by the narcissist’s nonsense. They think, act, and feel for themselves, trusting their own judgment and staying true to their positive self-image. They don’t seek validation or approval from others to navigate life. Naturally, this isn’t what narcissists want in a partner for their mind games. So when you start asserting yourself, their behavior takes a different turn.
If you’re curious about how exactly they react to people they consider too strong for them, then keep watching. We’ll explore some of their common responses in this article. This way, you’ll be able to address them and stand firm against their manipulations.
Number 1: They’ll discredit the progress you’ve made.
Once a narcissist is triggered by your strength, they will go out of their way to bring you down. They’ll take every chance to point out your mistakes, flaws, or perceived shortcomings, all in an attempt to stop you from feeling good about yourself. They may even use your past mistakes against you, holding them over your head with a sixth sense of satisfaction. No matter how far you’ve come or how much you’ve changed, they’ll go to great lengths to find anything they can to use against you. It’s their way of undermining your self-worth and self-esteem. They love dwelling on the past and refuse to acknowledge your growth and progress. Not to mention, they do this so that no one will cast a spotlight on you.
Sharing is caring!
Number 2: They’ll see and treat you as their adversary.
When dealing with a narcissist, if they sense that you have greater personal power than they’d prefer, a few things tend to happen. Their specific reactions can vary depending on the type of narcissist you’re dealing with. For instance, a more covert narcissist might initially be drawn to your strength, courage, and confidence. However, eventually, they’ll feel triggered and threatened by these qualities. Once your strong nature starts highlighting their flaws, inadequacies, or lack of integrity, those traits they initially admired become problematic for them. In their mind, you become their adversary. Suddenly, you’re cast as the villain while they conveniently assume the role of the victim. This victimhood narrative is typical when dealing with a covert narcissist. They constantly position themselves as the victim, even in situations they’ve created and perpetuated. A more overt and grandiose narcissist will also be drawn to your strength and personal power at first, but once they realize that you can’t be easily dominated, swayed, deceived, manipulated, or controlled, that attraction will fade. At that point, your strength and personal power become a huge issue for them, and this frustration might give them the excuse they need to exhibit some retaliatory behavior, which they see as entirely justifiable. While a covert narcissist may try to hide their fear, jealousy, and insecurity, you can still get under their skin without knowing it. On the other hand, an overt narcissist can quickly go from acting nice and friendly to showing their true colors, unable to hide their triggers or wounded ego as easily. Based on what we’ve seen, all narcissists are sneaky and crafty, but covert narcissists often take their behavior to another level.
Number 3: They’ll try to ruin your reputation.
Narcissists have a fundamental desire to always feel superior, in control, and dominant. When they can’t control you, they start feeling threatened. You know what they do? They protect their false image in their own unique way. They’ll manipulate how others see you, judge you, and influence their opinions about you. It’s a preemptive strategy. They’ll discredit you, belittle you, and degrade you so people won’t perceive you as strong. This behavior can go on for a long time, even before you realize that something’s not right. Remember, narcissists are deceptive; they love to fabricate falsehoods and hide the truth, all without feeling a shred of guilt, shame, or remorse. They’re masters at putting on a front, acting like everything’s peachy while tearing you apart behind your back. This kind of behavior isn’t limited to specific relationships. Narcissistic parents, siblings, spouses, relatives, friends, bosses, and ex-lovers all engage in this behavior regularly. For instance, narcissistic parents manipulate, dominate, and control their children, while narcissistic in-laws can’t wait to tarnish the reputation of newcomers in the family.
Sharing is caring!
Number 4: They’ll shift how they treat you.
Many people don’t realize that narcissists aren’t usually interested in those they see as having low social standing. If you find yourself targeted by a destructive narcissist, it’s probably because you possess qualities they admire. Perhaps you radiate positivity and have a deep sense of empathy and kindness, which they lack. You’ve likely achieved impressive personal and intellectual accomplishments. By being associated with you, they feel their image is elevated, which initially appeals to their vanity. In essence, you embody everything the narcissist lacks. Your strength, personal power, and dynamic attributes are undeniably attractive to them at first. But narcissists can’t help but assert dominance over others. They’re obsessed with maintaining a facade of superiority, even if it’s completely detached from reality. So it’s only a matter of time before your strength becomes a problem for them, especially for a destructive narcissist. Depending on the situation, you might notice it right away or slowly realize that it’s causing issues in your relationship. But when that shift happens, you won’t be able to miss it. By the way, make sure to subscribe if you’ve learned something new today.
Number 5: They’ll do whatever it takes to make you doubt yourself.
Narcissists get a kick out of pinpointing your vulnerabilities. They do it on purpose just to make you doubt yourself, question your worth, and second-guess your abilities. They’re trying to fabricate and magnify feelings of guilt, shame, fear, inadequacy, and insecurity within you, all to keep control and make you feel inferior. But guess what? All this behavior stems from their own buried feelings of inferiority. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that people can be so cruel just because they’re scared and insecure, unless you’ve experienced this emotional and psychological abuse firsthand. But that’s the reality with narcissists.
Sharing is caring!
Number 6: They’ll try to regain the position of dominance they think they had over you.
It’s important to keep in mind that individuals with narcissistic tendencies seek dominance and control over others. Their main focus is getting what they want and having their needs met. But when things don’t go their way or they lose control, it’s time to be cautious. When they realize they’re not in control anymore, don’t comply with their demands, or unintentionally outshine them, their ego takes a hit. They may go to great lengths to prove to themselves that they’re superior to you. But here’s the thing: it’s really not about you. It’s their issue, not yours. The good news is that you have the power to protect yourself and outsmart a narcissist who thinks you’re too strong for their liking.
First, prioritize distancing yourself from the narcissist as much as possible. This means cutting off your connection with them, essentially removing their source of narcissistic supply. Ideally, you want to completely cut ties, which means having no contact at all and burning all bridges that could allow them to reach you. If that’s challenging or impossible, at least try to adopt an unresponsive stance. Your goal is to minimize your engagement in the toxic dynamic. Once you’ve achieved low or no contact, focus on your healing. Take time for self-care, dedicating yourself to personal growth and recovery. This way, you can regain your power and rebuild your self-confidence while breaking the subconscious patterns that attract such perpetrators into your life, especially if it’s not your first experience with narcissists.
Lastly, let’s talk about setting boundaries. Learning to set boundaries effectively is a vital life skill that many of us were never taught. For someone who’s dealt with a narcissist, it becomes even more crucial. Setting boundaries is one effective way to safeguard your mental health and overall well-being. If you’re unsure or lacking confidence in establishing healthy limits, don’t worry. It’s never too late to acquire this valuable skill.
Sharing is caring!
