This is not psychological heterosxuality; it’s a warped brotherhood where masculinity is sustained by suppressing women and obeying other men. In such dynamics, the narcissistic man can never be truly intimate with a woman because intimacy does not just require physicality; it requires vulnerability, and vulnerability is punished in his male cult. So he remains emotionally severed—sxually active but psychologically chained to male approval.
Let’s be clear: this is misogyny. It is not just a preference for male company; it is a world where women are reduced to tools, caretakers, and total distractions. A world where a man can marry a woman, impregnate her, use her, and still believe she is not worthy of being informed or included in decisions about her own life. A world where a woman can share a bed with a man and still be treated as an outsider. My father lived in that world and still continues to, and he wasn’t alone. Every man in his family treated women the same way.
I grew up watching men treat their wives like afterthoughts while bowing to the opinions of their male elders. They did not just ignore their wives; they belittled them, mocked them, and erased them behind closed doors. It was the woman who ran the house, but outside, their voices did not matter. That psychological duality damages children, destroys marriages, and spreads generational trauma.
This is why I say narcissistic men are not psychologically straight, because straightness isn’t just about sx; it is about your internal alignment, your respect for the opposite sx, your ability to emotionally bond, and your willingness to see them as equals. A man who fears women’s minds but worships male control is not a healthy heterosxual; he is a psychological slave to patriarchy. He’s not building a life with a woman; he’s using her body and outsourcing his brain to other men.
So if, as a woman, you are going through this and you feel invisible in your marriage—if you are doing all the work but your husband still runs to his father, brother, or friend for every major decision—if he mocks your voice but takes advice from his drunk uncle—if you feel like you’re married but still outside the circle—then you must know you’re not crazy. You’re seeing the truth, and that truth is their kryptonite.
To the narcissistic men who may be listening to this and feel triggered, let me ask you: If your wife and your male friend gave you opposite advice, whose opinion would carry more weight? If your father disapproved of your choice but your wife supported it, would you go forward or back off? If your spouse expressed pain, would you validate it, or would you run to your brother and ask if you are being too soft? Those answers reveal more than your sxuality; they reveal your psychology.
Being psychologically straight means emotionally respecting women, as I explained—not just desiring them. It means seeing them as whole humans, not just roles. It means building a life where their voices echo just as loudly as your father’s once did. Until men begin to unlearn this emotional dependence on male dominance, they will continue to call themselves straight, alpha, while living like closeted misogynists.
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