The shock is implied in the notion that says, “How dare you reject me? How dare you come against me? I can’t believe you’re doing something like this.” In other words, they have this mythical thinking that everything’s supposed to be smooth and peachy keen and go their way. And when you say, “No, I’m not doing that anymore,” it’s like, seriously? And they have a hard time believing your truth.
In addition, they’re going to respond with fear. Now, they’re not going to say, “I feel fear.” Instead, they’re going to come across as angry, and they have what we would refer to even as narcissistic rage, and it’s part of what we refer to as their narcissistic injury. They feel hurt. They feel that you’re attempting to damage them. And so they’re highly threatened—that’s the fear part—that you’re no longer going to admire them and you’re no longer going to be their supply. And so they can come out with all sorts of angry reactions and punishment and all the rest.
They’re going to go into self-protective mode. They’re going to do a lot of rationalizing and justifying. “Well, you need to know why I’m the best one here, and I’m smarter than you, and why my way of life is better than what your way of life is. I really do know what’s wisest and best.” And they’re going to justify and rationalize why it’s okay for them to have all of their narcissistic characteristics. And you’re thinking, “Yeah, that’s why I need to get away because you can’t let go.”
They’re going to go into the ridicule mode and more. They can taunt you. They can be real sarcastic in the way that they engage with you. You’ll certainly hear lots of accusations. If you imply, “I find you to be defective,” they’re going to come back with a dozen more defections that they see in you, and they’re just going to come at you with guns blazing, so to speak. They’ll unload heavy criticism on you. Sometimes you’ll be the object of text bombing, all sorts of complaints, and just dredging up things from the past. They simply can’t deal with it.
Basically, we can say another thought is their ears are turned off when you let it be known this is not working. It’s like they have no ability to hear you. Rather than saying, “This gives me some things I need to pay attention to. Tell me more,” they won’t think that way in a million years.
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