What if I told you that avoiding public displays of affection may be a manifestation of one’s insecurity? Practicing a low-key relationship is different from keeping your partner a secret. I’ve been engaged for six months, and no one even knows I’m dating anyone. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? One is about privacy, while the other is about control. When a narcissist refuses to show affection in public, it’s usually not about personal boundaries; it’s a power move.
Today, we’ll talk about six reasons why narcissists avoid public displays of affection: the hidden power play. Are you ready for number one?
1. They Want to Keep Their Options Open
Even in a committed relationship, a narcissist acts single when others are around. They avoid public displays of affection because keeping things ambiguous benefits them. If they appear unattached, they can still attract attention, flirt freely, and keep potential admirers hooked without technically cheating. Shannon Thomas, author of Healing from Hidden Abuse, explains that narcissists thrive on keeping doors open, not just with romantic interests but with anyone who might feed their ego. By refusing to show commitment in public, they send a message that they are available, just in case something better comes along. If they never publicly claim you, they can deny responsibility for the relationship whenever it suits them. If you confront them about their behavior, they might gaslight you with lines like, “We’re not that serious,” or “I never said we were exclusive.” Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they might shower you with affection just enough to keep you emotionally invested.
This is classic future faking, a term used by therapist Stephanie Saracino to describe how manipulators make you believe in a commitment that never fully materializes. As a result, you stay loyal to someone who never truly claims you while they keep their options wide open.
2. They Fear Losing Their Mystery
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