Number 3: “Don’t You Forget Who You Were Before Me.”
This is the ultimate weaponization of your past. Narcissists love to play savior; at first, they offer you support, maybe even some kind of escape—just enough to hook you. But that help always comes with strings because later they will hold it over your head like a loaded gun. When they say this, what they’re really doing is reminding you of your lowest moments—not to uplift you, but to shrink you. They want you to feel small, weak, and grateful. They want you to question whether you would even be where you are without them. The minute you start recognizing your own power, growth, and worth, they lose control. So they drag you back to who you were when you first met them—maybe you were heartbroken, financially unstable, or lost. They positioned themselves as the one who built you back up, but they did not; they found you in a vulnerable state like a predator and attached themselves to your healing process so later they could claim it as their own. You start questioning whether your strength is really yours; you hesitate before taking your next leap and feel guilt for even thinking about leaving the person who was there for you. That’s the trap. It keeps you emotionally in debt to someone who never actually saved you; they just made sure you never forgot that you were once broken.
Number 4: “I Still Know You Better Than Anyone Ever Will.”
This is ultimate possession. When a narcissist says this, they’re trying to trap you in a narrative where they are the author of your identity. They’re not saying they understand you; they are reminding you that they studied you, watched your reactions, and memorized your patterns inside and out. Now they’re using that knowledge to position themselves as irreplaceable. The real intent here is to cut off your sense of possibility—to make you believe no one else will ever connect with you the way they did. When you buy into that idea, you start second-guessing new relationships, friendships, or even your own ability to connect with yourself. What they’re really doing is reinforcing the trauma bond. If they know you so well, why do you still feel so unseen, unsafe, and misunderstood? Because this isn’t about knowing you; it is about convincing you that they are your emotional compass, so you never wander too far from their influence.
Number 5: “What Are You Trying to Prove?”
This line comes out when you start moving differently—when you start explaining yourself, when you set boundaries, or when you show confidence without seeking their validation. That is when they throw this out to make you question your motives. They do not actually think you are proving anything; what they are reacting to is your unapologetic energy. They’re used to seeing you doubt yourself, walk on eggshells, and soften your strength. The moment you stop doing that, they assume it is a performance—not because it is, but because your self-trust exposes how little they actually have. This question isn’t curiosity; it is control. If they can frame your growth as a show, they can make you feel fake, and once you feel fake, you start dimming again. That is the goal: to keep you confused about whether your power is real because your clarity threatens their entire identity.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
