Number two: they avoid genuine affection but act possessive to seem interested. Here is where it gets painfully confusing. Unlike typical devaluation, this isn’t just about criticism or disdain; this is about how the narcissist reacts to your physicality. I’m talking about your smell, shape, or body. They may recoil when you hug them from behind, flinch when you kiss them deeply, or subtly grimace when you undress. You may notice how they pull away during intimate moments or become distracted—even annoyed—when you initiate affection. What makes it more confusing is that they will counterbalance this coldness with public possessiveness.
They may post overly romantic photos of you on social media, talk loudly about your chemistry in front of friends, or even brag about your body to others—not because they are truly attracted to you, but because they want to convince themselves and others they are. They may grab your waist when others are watching, whisper exaggerated sexual compliments in public, or even fake jealousy to sell the illusion. Of course, it’s not about connection; it’s about performance. You will feel the difference. Something in their touch feels hollow; something in their attention feels staged. It is propaganda. They do not just reject you privately; they perform desire to cover the truth. Let that sink in.
Sign 3: Caught Watching Same-Sex Content
They get caught watching same-sex content and then gaslight you. This is one of the most obvious signs, as I said, but the way narcissists handle it is textbook. You may stumble upon same-sex explicit content in their browser history, catch a glimpse of apps or secret profiles on their phone, or overhear conversations that clearly imply something hidden. When confronted, the reaction is never one of honesty or vulnerability; it’s always strategy. They will say things like, “Everyone watches stuff like that. It’s just a fantasy. It doesn’t mean anything at all. You’re being paranoid and insecure.”
Rather than admitting curiosity or addressing what you found, they immediately flip the script, accusing you of invading their privacy, overthinking, or even being manipulative for bringing it up. They may even claim you misunderstood what you saw, deny it ever existed, or start crying to guilt-trip you. Can you believe that? Suddenly, you are the one apologizing for uncovering the truth. They will double down by acting more straight than ever, bringing up past sexual encounters, insisting how much they are into you, or suddenly initiating intimacy they otherwise avoid. This is not someone confused about who they are; this is someone who knows but refuses to let you know and punishes you emotionally for getting too close to the truth.
Sign 4: Exaggerating Gender Stereotypes
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
