Today, I want to talk about what a narcissist does with your silence. What do they think about it? How would they generally react?
Narcissists are known for using silent treatments as a tactic to manipulate and even punish their victims. But what happens when we give the narcissist the silent treatment? Does it have the same effect? For narcissists, they need a reaction, so your silence will make them take notice. However, there are times when silence is best, especially around a narcissist, because the less you say, the better.
If you are going to do something, it’s important to do it right for it to have the most profound effect. Just being silent isn’t enough; you can be silent but tense, silent but angry, or silent but very afraid. Narcissists can sniff out these negative emotions, so even if you are not saying anything, they can read your body language or facial expressions to gauge your response. The narcissist only needs a reaction—any reaction will do. If they sense their provocations are having an effect, they will continue to apply pressure until you break your silence.
Another tactic they might employ is to out-silence you, treating it like a competition to see who can hold out the longest. The narcissist expects you to break because they believe they are the masters of the silent treatment. They can maintain it indefinitely, especially if they realize you are miserable the whole time.
The type of silence that drives a narcissist crazy is the one backed by no emotion or an unbothered attitude. They need to know they are having some impact on you. If you don’t give them anything to work with, the narcissist is left stumped.
I’ve also addressed the other side of the coin and provided phrases you can say to a narcissist that will hurt them. Every approach has its place and time, but it depends on who you are and the specific narcissist you are dealing with.
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Silence can be a very powerful tool, but the attitude that accompanies it is crucial. Grey rocking a narcissist or a manipulative person is one of the best methods out there. This involves silence where possible, a lack of emotion, and being dull, vague, and unresponsive. It’s about being as boring and disinterested as you can be to turn off the narcissist.
Of course, with any approach, the narcissist will take offense because that’s just what they do. Their ego is extremely fragile, and while they enjoy administering the silent treatment, they cannot handle or tolerate it in return. The narcissist uses tactics like the silent treatment to keep the focus on themselves, but there needs to be a disconnect so they no longer see you as a source of supply. Silence or fully grey rocking may be the key.
There is power in silence, remaining calm, and controlling your emotions around a narcissist. This is a way to shut down the narcissist and not give them anything to work with. Narcissists need a reaction, good or bad; they just need something to work with. Your silence will make them uncomfortable and make them wonder what you are up to. They think that people are as twisted as they are, so they may believe you are planning something against them, which might lead them to avoid you. But who cares? We need to stop feeding the narcissist and focus more on what is best for us.
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