There is something more effective than unconditional love that will make a narcissist embrace change. First of all, we need to remember that narcissists are very fearful creatures. They are cowards who desire a life of ease and plenty. They avoid people and situations that make them uncomfortable or challenge their identity. Narcissists seek to avoid pain, whether it is from an outside source, be it physical or emotional. Narcissists already have a lot of internal pain, so their aim is to limit any additional pain from their external environment. That is why, when they hit rock bottom as a result of exposure or loss, it has the potential to evoke—if only the thought of—change. Narcissists will do whatever is necessary to escape a bad situation. So, even if the change is not genuine, they are bound to behave themselves in order to avoid pain.
It is unfortunate that this is what it takes for narcissists to improve, but it is the truth. The narcissist has to suffer or lose out badly for them to make an effort to do the right thing.
To conclude, one thing is certain: loving a narcissist unconditionally will only make them comfortable in their evilness, knowing they can get away with whatever they want. Sending love and light to a narcissist will just be consumed by their darkness. It will not motivate them to change or have compassion for you.
Once again, I am not saying anyone should hate a narcissist or not show love to one, but don’t think for a moment that loving a narcissist will change them. For those who hold to this belief, you are free to do so, but I personally do not agree with this approach and would not recommend it to anyone. Unconditional love is an amazing gift to have, but it is a shame to waste it on someone who will not actually benefit from it.
I’m sure narcissists would love it if everyone adopted this way of thinking, but I see it as very detrimental for us, as it would only feed their ego and desire for control.
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