Most people ask what made the narcissist that way. They assume it was trauma; they assume it was abandonment. However, they rarely focus on the woman who birthed the male narcissist because society has programmed us to protect the mother, even when she was the architect of the monster. She herself was a narcissist behind many dangerous narcissistic men—men who abuse, dominate, and gaslight. There is a mother who called him her king while feeding him poison. She smiled to the world as if she raised a gentleman, but behind closed doors, she twisted his psyche into something that doesn’t love, feel guilt, or connect. She didn’t break his heart; she broke his reality and reshaped it to worship her ego.
You may have come across recent footage of PDD’s private acts exposed on security tape. You may have heard whispers and interviews revealing a carefully curated image unraveling at the seams. His persona was rehearsed; it’s now a known fact. His actions in the dark are chilling, and if you look closely, his mother was always right there behind the curtain. This is not just about him; this is about the thousands raised like him—men who destroy everything they touch, especially the women they claim to love. It begins with the dynamic of a narcissistic mother-son duo, a topic most people are too afraid to name, but let’s name and shame it.
Surrogate Husband
The first thing such a mother does is make him her surrogate husband. She tells him, “You are the man of the house.” That’s what she intends. He wasn’t raised; he was recruited. Instead of being held and nurtured, he was assigned roles—roles of an emotional caretaker, a substitute partner, and a therapist. Basically, he was a defender. At an age when he should have been building Lego sets, he was listening to his mother cry about her broken heart, failed dreams, or ungrateful lovers. She called it love, but it wasn’t love; it was emotional incest. It was parentification. He was married to her pain long before he ever fell in love with a woman, and that’s why he cannot love you now.
It’s not your fault. When you express a need, he feels like you’re pulling him back into the trap. He doesn’t see your tears; he sees hers. He doesn’t hear your needs; he heard the cries that haunted his childhood bedroom. So he punishes you for being vulnerable—not because you hurt him; you never do—but because vulnerability reminds him of the cage his mother never let him leave. Now he resents every woman who leans on him emotionally. To him, love feels like labor. That’s why you feel alone, even when he is lying right next to you.
The Mask of Perfection
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