Dr. Joseph Burgo, author of The Narcissist You Know, explains that narcissists erode their partner’s confidence so they become more emotionally dependent. Narcissists know that a confident, self-assured person is harder to control, so they chip away at your self-worth one public humiliation at a time. By embarrassing you in front of others, they plant seeds of self-doubt, making you question your value. It’s like a toxic cycle: every insult, every joke at your expense, and every eye roll in front of an audience makes you feel smaller. Over time, you start believing their narrative, and that’s exactly what they want. The weaker you feel, the less likely you are to leave. This is psychological warfare disguised as just a joke or constructive criticism. But let’s be real: there’s nothing constructive about being humiliated. The goal is to make you second-guess yourself so much that you start seeking their approval, even after they’re the ones tearing you down. But here’s the truth: your value isn’t defined by someone who needs to crush you to feel powerful. The moment you recognize this, you take back your power because a narcissist’s worst nightmare is a partner who realizes they deserve better.
3. To Isolate Their Partner
The easiest way to control someone is to cut them off from anyone who might remind them of their worth. Narcissists don’t just want to hurt you; they want to own you. One of the most effective ways to do that is by imprisoning you in their world. Public humiliation is their weapon of choice because it doesn’t just damage your confidence; it also pushes you away from others. When they embarrass you in front of friends, family, or co-workers, you start dreading social interactions. Dr. Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That, explains that abusers systematically break down their partner’s support system so they feel they have nowhere else to turn. You withdraw from others, skip gatherings, and soon the only one left is the narcissist, who is the source of your misery in the first place. This is how they tighten their grip. The more isolated you become, the more you rely on them for validation, even when they’re the ones tearing you down. But here’s the truth: the people who truly love you will never make you feel ashamed of yourself. The moment you start reconnecting with those who see your worth, the narcissist’s hold weakens because nothing scares them more than you realizing you don’t need them.
4. To Shift Attention Away from Their Insecurities
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