Narcissists treat their partner like a punchline. That’s not humor; it’s humiliation in disguise. For some narcissists, putting you down in public isn’t just about control; it’s about performance. They love an audience, and if making you the butt of the joke earns them laughs, admiration, or attention, they’ll do it without hesitation. Dr. Sandy H. Hotchkiss, author of Why Is It Always About You?, explains that narcissists crave validation so much that they’ll sacrifice their closest relationships just to get it. In their minds, making you look foolish makes them look clever. It’s not about fun; it’s about feeding their fragile ego. And if people laugh along, it only reinforces their behavior, making them more likely to do it again. The worst part is they expect you to play along. If you call them out, they’ll accuse you of ruining the mood or not being able to take a joke. A loving partner doesn’t need to humiliate you to be funny. So if someone treats you like a prop for their comedy routine, remember this: you’re not being too sensitive; you’re recognizing disrespect for what it is.
7. To Punish Their Partners for Asserting Themselves
Any sign of independence is a threat to narcissists. Dr. Steven Stosny, author of Love Without Hurt, explains that narcissists use shame as a weapon to keep their partners in a submissive role. If you dare to challenge them, voice your own opinion, or prove them wrong, they won’t forget it. But instead of addressing it directly, they wait for the perfect moment to strike—usually in public, where the humiliation stings even more. They humiliate you by teaching you a lesson about thinking twice before asserting yourself. The more this happens, the more you start walking on eggshells, avoiding anything that might trigger their wrath. Over time, you learn that speaking up equals punishment and staying quiet equals peace. This is how narcissists maintain dominance: by making you afraid to be yourself. But here’s what they don’t want you to realize: their reaction isn’t a reflection of your worth; it’s a reflection of their fear. They belittle you because, deep down, your strength threatens them. And the moment you recognize this, you take back the power they’ve been trying so hard to steal.
8. To Turn Others Against Their Partners
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